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The consumption of world’s resources is increasing dangerous rate. What are the causes and solutions? v.1

The consumption of world’s resources is increasing dangerous rate. What are the causes and solutions? v. 1
The more we decorated our homes the more planet Earth is being deprived of its natural riches at an exponentially desperate rate. This is happening largely due to population boom and unjustified access of conventional resources. Although, it is still time to cope up with the damage by thoughtful use of available non-renewable wealth of our planet. Humans have tapped so deep into the holdings of Earth that the extinction of its natural wealth is just around the corner. Such dire situation can be primarily owed to a combination of financial value that resources do bring to the economic status and their un-monitored usage. The primary reason of this over exploitation is evidently the proliferation in population, globally. As, with population, increases the demand and consumption. These demands have long overrun the deposits of riches and their formation on Earth. Humans, in their self righteous nature, have forgotten the give and take relationship between natural resources and their survival. This scenario is made worse by the less aware and least caring generation of humans that is heavily dependent on these energy resources. People are in the sheep walk of madness to get the economic boost, caring less about their upcoming generation. While illiterate people are unaware about the damage they are causing by cutting trees and using excess fossil fuels, the educated class is unfazed by the natural wrath that will soon be bestowed upon them. The way that human uses electricity, water, fossil wealth and pollutes environment, believing it has nothing to do with the survival of this race puts the case in point. This alarming trend has long been triggered and thus in order to mitigate the damage and assure the survival of mankind, the authorities and the people are required to take reasonable and drastic steps. One step to be mentioned is that the state should impose higher taxes on the use of conventional assets to deter further consumption. On the other hand, renewable energy sources such as solar and wind power can be developed to substitute fossil fuels in transport and manufacture. Another feasible step could be awareness campaigns, these campaigns need to be launched to make individuals acknowledge the risks of overusing natural resources through the mass media. In order to truly alleviate the existing problem, individuals need to step forward and keep their planet about their finances for once. To conclude, it is the high time to look into the mirror and realise that the overuse of the world’s resources may result in severe consequences, threatening the environment and all life forms on planet green. Above all strict restrictions must be implemented over the use of natural resources, to tackle this situation.
The more we decorated our homes the more planet Earth is
being deprived
of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
riches at an
exponentially
desperate rate. This is happening
largely
due to population boom and unjustified access of conventional resources.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, it is
still
time to cope up with the damage by thoughtful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of available non-renewable wealth of our planet.

Humans have tapped
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
deep into the holdings of Earth that the extinction of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
wealth is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
around the corner. Such dire situation can be
primarily
owed to a combination of financial value that resources do bring to the economic status and their
Possible spelling mistake found.
un-monitored
usage. The primary reason of this over exploitation is
evidently
the proliferation in population, globally. As, with population, increases the demand and consumption. These demands have long overrun the deposits of riches and their formation on Earth. Humans, in their
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self righteous
nature, have forgotten the give and take relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources and their survival. This scenario
is made
worse by the less aware and least caring generation of humans
that is
heavily
dependent on these energy resources.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are in the sheep walk of madness to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the economic boost, caring less about their upcoming generation. While illiterate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are unaware about the damage they are causing by cutting trees and using excess fossil fuels, the educated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
is unfazed
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
wrath that will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
be bestowed
upon them. The way that human
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "uses'" or "use's"?
uses
electricity, water, fossil wealth and pollutes environment, believing it has nothing to do with the survival of this race puts the case in point.

This alarming trend has long
been triggered
and
thus
in order to mitigate the damage and assure the survival of mankind, the authorities and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are required
to take reasonable and drastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
. One
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
to
be mentioned
is that the state should impose higher taxes on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of conventional assets to deter
further
consumption.
On the other hand
, renewable energy sources such as solar and wind power can
be developed
to substitute fossil fuels in transport and manufacture. Another feasible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
could be awareness campaigns, these campaigns need to
be launched
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
individuals acknowledge the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of overusing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources through the mass media. In order to
truly
alleviate the existing problem, individuals need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
forward and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their planet about their finances for once.

To conclude
, it is the high time to look into the mirror and
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
that the overuse of the world’s resources may result in severe consequences, threatening the environment and all life forms on planet green.
Above all
strict restrictions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be implemented
over the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources, to tackle this situation.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay The consumption of world’s resources is increasing dangerous rate. What are the causes and solutions? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
448 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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