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The consumption of the world’s resources (oil, and water, etc. ) is increasing at a dangerous rate. What are the causes and solutions? v.1

The consumption of the world’s resources (oil, and water, etc. ) is increasing at a dangerous rate. What are the causes and solutions? v. 1
It is argued that our contemporary society is facing the accelerating rate of natural resources consumption. This essay will look at the fundamental causes of this and suggest some possible solutions to this problem. There are a number of reasons why human are overexploiting natural resources. Firstly, as the world has been highly competitive, all countries, especially developed countries, have sacrificed available energy to stimulate economic prosperity. China, for instance, has excessively consumed natural resources such as wood, oil and water in order to become the world's most thriving economy, regardless of the catastrophic effects that they exert on the ecosystem. Secondly, more population means more basic human needs, spurring the exploitation of natural resources. For example, in the US, the demand for commute by private vehicles in the past 20 years has increased by 50%, leading to an overexploitation of fossil fuels. There are several actions that could be taken to mitigate the problem mentioned above. One possible measure is that international officials should organize high-level conferences to adopt economic growth policies that are less dependent on natural resources. By doing this, It is possible for the government to switch to renewable energy sources such as solar and wind energy. Another feasible approach is the authorities should enact laws to diminish the over-reliance on equipment with high energy consumption. To illustrate, commuting by motorcycles will be prohibited in Danang city center in 2030 because the government wants citizens to use fuel-efficient means of transport such as trains and buses. In conclusion, there are various factors leading to an increase in the consumption of natural energy and measures can be implemented to tackle this issue.
It
is argued
that our contemporary society is facing the accelerating rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources consumption. This essay will look at the fundamental causes of this and suggest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible solutions to this problem.

There are a number of reasons why human are
Possible spelling mistake found.
overexploiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources.
Firstly
, as the world has been
highly
competitive, all countries,
especially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
, have sacrificed available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
to stimulate economic prosperity. China,
for instance
, has
excessively
consumed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources such as wood, oil and water in order to become the world's most thriving economy, regardless of the catastrophic effects that they exert on the ecosystem.
Secondly
, more population means more basic human needs, spurring the exploitation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources.
For example
, in the US, the demand for commute by private vehicles in the past 20 years has increased by 50%, leading to an overexploitation of fossil fuels.

There are several actions that could
be taken
to mitigate the problem mentioned above. One possible measure is that international officials should organize high-level conferences to adopt economic growth policies that are less dependent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources. By doing this, It is possible for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to switch to renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
sources such as solar and wind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
. Another feasible approach is the authorities should enact laws to diminish the over-reliance on equipment with high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
consumption. To illustrate, commuting by motorcycles will
be prohibited
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Danang
city center in 2030
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
wants citizens to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
fuel-efficient means of transport such as trains and buses.

In conclusion
, there are various factors leading to an increase in the consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
and measures can
be implemented
to tackle this issue.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay The consumption of the world’s resources (oil, and water, etc. ) is increasing at a dangerous rate. What are the causes and solutions? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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