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In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.24

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. v. 24
All countries have different ways in which employees are paid, both in public as well as private sector, there is sometimes a huge disparity between officers and lower grade workers. A few individuals believe this would be better for a nation; however, there are others, who thinks the government should have a control on the basic income one earns. In my opinion, everyone should be given a limit in which they are paid. In this essay, I would discuss both views and the reasons for my opinion. There are some countries, where top bureaucrats and politicians earn too much compared to the employees in their department. One who supports this idea have a notion that, if a nation has to showcase its prosperity to other nations, the top level officers have to be paid more, so that when a foreign delegate visit these countries will have a misconception regarding the people living there. But, I think that, these delegations from those countries have an actual idea regarding the economic situation before they plan a visit. For example, the US President Mr. Trump won’t visit poor African or Asian countries; on the other hand, the rich Middle East for oil and consumer base in India and Pakistan are always in his charts. A quite lot of the public, with a different view, wants the variance in salary to vanish, by control measures from the government and stringent rules to limit the earnings. The economic situation of a country would only be uplifted if all has almost equal basic income and it would motivate them to work even the menial jobs. One would ask, then what is the benefit for the high grade employees, here I would suggest, they can be given more allowances and benefits such as less working hours, holidays depending on their nature of work. For instance, the communist country like China follows these features where all citizens are treated equal. To conclude, capping salaries and basic income for all are some solutions for income disparity. Instead, the government should reduce work hours and provide various other benefits and allowances to the top grade individuals.
All
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways in which employees
are paid
, both in public
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
private sector, there is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
a huge disparity between officers and lower grade workers. A few individuals believe this would be better for a nation;
however
, there are others, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should have a control on the basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
one earns. In my opinion, everyone should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a limit in which they
are paid
. In this essay, I would discuss both views and the reasons for my opinion.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, where top bureaucrats and politicians earn too much compared to the employees in their department. One who supports this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
have a notion that, if a nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
showcase its prosperity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations, the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
top level
officers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be paid
more,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that when a foreign delegate visit these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will have a misconception regarding the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living there.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that, these delegations from those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have an actual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
regarding the economic situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they plan a visit.
For example
, the US President Mr. Trump won’t visit poor African or Asian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
; on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the rich Middle East for oil and consumer base in India and Pakistan are always in his charts.

A
You used an adverb ('quite') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('lot') instead of another adjective.
quite lot
of the public, with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
view, wants the variance in salary to vanish, by control measures from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and stringent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
to limit the earnings. The economic situation of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be uplifted
if all has almost equal basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
and it would motivate them to work even the menial jobs. One would ask, then what is the benefit for the high grade employees, here I would suggest, they can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
more allowances and benefits such as less working hours, holidays depending on their nature of work.
For instance
, the communist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
like China follows these features where all citizens
are treated
equal.

To conclude
, capping salaries and basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
for all are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
disparity.
Instead
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
work hours and provide various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
benefits and allowances to the top grade individuals.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. v. 24

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
356 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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