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The college years are the best time in a person’s life. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons to support your opinion. v.2

The college years are the best time in a person’s life. Give reasons to support your opinion. v. 2
Every period in people`s lives has own beauty, but there are periods which we like more. One period which is one of the best according to me are the college years. I agree with this statement that the college years are the best time in a person`s life because in this period of life people are young, healthier and do not have big problems such as an adult has. First of all, the young people do everything easier than adults because they are full of life, they have a lot of energy and everything is more interesting in this period. In addition, in the college years, you can travel more, go to the parties and have fun. Furthermore, in this period people have more time for themselves because they do not have a lot of obligations although assignments and exams, while adults need to look for the family and also have a lot of obligations at work. How you become older the obligations get bigger. As a second, the college years help people to improve their social skills. We are learning to communicate with people more efficiently. Also, we meet a lot of people all over the country even from other countries. For instance, in the college years I met people from different parts of the world who have very different cultures and this was very beautiful experience because I learned about their traditions and tasted their traditional foods. Finally, the most beautiful part of the college years is that there are a lot of activities you can do. For instance, I was in a hiking club and almost every weekend we went to different places. Also in the summer period we went to one place where we made a camp. I think that people through these activities can learn a lot of things and experience the life. In conclusion, there are a lot of things which can be a mention about that the college years are the best time in a person`s life. But the most important is that people improve their social skills, learn to be responsible and to make decisions, also to enjoy new activities.
Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
in
The character between 'people' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "people’s" (curly apostrophe) or "people's" (straight apostrophe).
people`s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
beauty,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
periods
which we like more. One
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
which is one of the best according to me are the college years. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement that the college years are the best time in a
The character between 'person' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "person’s" (curly apostrophe) or "person's" (straight apostrophe).
person`s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are young, healthier and do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problems such as an adult has.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do everything easier than adults
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are full of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, they have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of energy and everything is more interesting in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
.
In addition
, in the college years, you can travel more, go to the parties and have fun.
Furthermore
, in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more time for themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of obligations although assignments and exams, while adults need to look for the family and
also
have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of obligations at work. How you become older the obligations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
bigger.

As a second, the college years
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. We are learning to communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more
efficiently
.
Also
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all over the country even from other countries.
For instance
, in the college years I met
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the world who have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures and this was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I learned about their traditions and tasted their traditional foods.

Finally
, the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
part of the college years is that there are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of activities you can do.
For instance
, I was in a hiking club and almost every weekend we went to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places.
Also
in the summer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
we went to one place where we made a camp. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
through these activities can learn a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of things and experience the life.

In conclusion
, there are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of things which can be a
Did you mean simply "mention that"? You do not need the word "about" here.
mention about that
the college years are the best time in a
The character between 'person' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "person’s" (curly apostrophe) or "person's" (straight apostrophe).
person`s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, learn to be responsible and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
decisions,
also
to enjoy new activities.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay The college years are the best time in a person’s life. Give reasons to support your opinion. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
358 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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