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The charts show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. v.1

The charts show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. v. 1
In my opinion, blaming careless use of credit cards as the sole basis of huge loans is completely preposterous. There are several factors like student debt and lack of financial education in schools that are a major contributing cause to the above issues. This essay will discuss why loans have become such a debatable topic. Firstly, education borrowings from financial institutions is one of the primary reasons for the huge mess. For example, with ever increasing university fees about half of the students are in debt. Secondly, schools do not teach students on how to manage money and various aspects related to it. As a result, children when turn into adults have no clue on investing and planning for there future monetary needs. However, credit cards do play a small role in the current situation. As people have unlimited access of money with just a swipe. Furthermore, consumers start buying things which are not required them. For instance, according to a recent survey about 60% of citizens buy things on which they actually never use. The situation is alarming in nature and will lead to multiple problems for banks as well as the government. In conclusion, we are heading towards a bubble which can burst anytime soon. The government should not only conduct free classes on how to handle money but also talk to various universities to review their tuition fees. Focusing on just reducing credit bills and introducing background verification will not solve the problem at hand as the other areas need to be understood and handled as well.
In my opinion, blaming careless
use
of credit cards as the sole basis of huge loans is completely preposterous. There are several factors like student debt and lack of financial education in schools that are a major contributing cause to the above issues. This essay will discuss why loans have become such a debatable topic.

Firstly
, education borrowings from financial institutions is one of the primary reasons for the huge mess.
For example
, with
ever increasing
university fees about half of the students are in debt.
Secondly
, schools do not teach students on how to manage money and various aspects related to it.
As a result
, children when turn into adults have no clue on investing and planning for there future monetary needs.

However
, credit cards do play a
small
role in the
current
situation.
As
people
have unlimited access of money with
just
a swipe.
Furthermore
, consumers
start
buying things which are not required them.
For instance
, according to a recent survey about 60% of citizens
buy
things on which they actually never
use
. The situation is alarming in nature and will lead to multiple problems for banks
as well
as the
government
.

In conclusion
, we are heading towards a bubble which can burst anytime
soon
. The
government
should not
only
conduct free classes on how to handle money
but
also
talk to various universities to review their tuition fees. Focusing on
just
reducing credit bills and introducing background verification will not solve the problem at hand as the other areas need to
be understood
and handled
as well
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay The charts show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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