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The charts below show three types of police reports from the city of Johnstown in 2016, along with Johnstown’s average monthly temperature. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.1

The charts below show three types of police reports from the city of Johnstown in 2016, along with Johnstown’s average monthly temperature.
The government is responsible for laying out funds to run its various sectors. The arts and the public sectors are among the many sectors that benefits from government investment. It is disagreed that financing the art industry by the government is a waste of finances. Analysing its major role of entertaining and educating the people, as well as creating employment for the masses will prove this. Firstly, they arts sectors serves as sources of entertainment to people and are used to educate the tourist and the younger generations. The music industry, theatres, Museums represents the culture and heritage of a country. For instance, the British car exhibition, which takes place in Coventry theatre which is well attended by thousands of people. This, car exhibition is quite educating and entertaining and the government plays a major role in making it a huge success yearly. Therefore, government investment in art is never a waste of money because the masses appreciate various aspects of this sector. Secondly, these various art sectors create employment for a large number of people. To illustrate, museums and theatres employ workers who attend to visitors. Likewise, the music industry has gained popularity over the years and most people have taken singing as a career. This, has improved the standard of living of the aforementioned people. Thus, investment in this sector has yielded a beneficial outcome in the society. In conclusion, financing the various arts industries boast the level of entertainment and education of a place and also creates befitting jobs for people. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of investing in the arts sector is not a misuse of funds.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is responsible for laying out funds to run its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
and the public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
are among the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
that benefits from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
investment. It
is disagreed
that financing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is a waste of finances.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Analysing' is British English.
Analysing
its major role of entertaining and educating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
as well
as creating employment for the masses will prove this.

Firstly
, they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "art"
arts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
serves as sources of entertainment to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to educate the tourist and the younger generations. The music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
, Museums represents the culture and heritage of a country.
For instance
, the British car exhibition, which takes place in Coventry
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
which is well attended by thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This, car exhibition is quite educating and entertaining and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
plays a major role in making it a huge success yearly.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
investment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is never a waste of money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the masses appreciate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
aspects of this sector.

Secondly
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
create employment for
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. To illustrate, museums and
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
employ workers who attend to visitors.
Likewise
, the music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
has gained popularity over the years and most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have taken singing as a career. This, has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
the standard of living of the aforementioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Thus
, investment in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
has yielded a beneficial outcome in the society.

In conclusion
, financing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
boast the level of entertainment and education of a place and
also
creates befitting jobs for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of investing in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
is not a misuse of funds.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world.
Rumi

IELTS essay The charts below show three types of police reports from the city of Johnstown in 2016, along with Johnstown’s average monthly temperature.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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