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17/09/2017 Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behavior. Others disagree and think that the host countries should welcome cultural difference. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.1

17/09/2017 Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behavior. Others disagree and think that the host countries should welcome cultural difference. v. 1
Most of the pupils are educated that the positive aspects of the competition are much more than the working together. In my opinion, I consider that a key to become successful in life is to learn about working as a team member in lieu of becoming a competitor. Admittedly, there are several positives in getting knowledge about the spirit of the competition. To commence, it is the best way to develop the quality of hard working with individuals, to become better than others. For instance, if there is only one top position in the class, the students will push themselves hard to gain that prestigious position. Moreover, this might prove as a key to become a successful person in the career after the academic life. Therefore, it can be argued that in order to achieve success, it might be beneficial to have a deep understanding of how to become at the top in every field of life. Nonetheless, despite the advantages mentioned above, I believe that the upside of the learning to behave as a group member is definitely much more advantageous than the winning. One of the main reasons is that it instills the importance of being helpful to others. In fact, it is the most crucial ingredient required to develop a harmony in the society. Another obvious reason is the development of effective communication skills in people, which they only get after performing different tasks together. Thus, it is completely clear that understanding the positive aspects of performing as a group mate is essential for not only the individual but also for the whole community to behave well. In conclusion, it seems that there is a both upside and downside of this phenomenon, I argue that the advantages of giving preference to act in a group undoubtedly outweigh the benefits of looking for the competition.
Most of the pupils
are educated
that the
positive
aspects of the competition are much more than the working together. In my opinion, I consider that a key to
become
successful in life is to learn about working as a team member in lieu of becoming a competitor.

Admittedly
, there are several positives in getting knowledge about the spirit of the competition. To commence, it is the best way to develop the quality of
hard working
with individuals, to
become
better than others.
For instance
, if there is
only
one top position in the
class
, the students will push themselves
hard
to gain that prestigious position.
Moreover
, this might prove as a key to
become
a successful person in the career after the academic life.
Therefore
, it can
be argued
that in order to achieve success, it might be beneficial to have a deep understanding of how to
become
at the top in every field of life.

Nonetheless, despite the advantages mentioned above, I believe that the upside of the learning to behave as a group member is definitely much more advantageous than the winning. One of the main reasons is that it instills the importance of being helpful to others. In fact, it is the most crucial ingredient required to develop a harmony in the society. Another obvious reason is the development of effective communication
skills
in
people
, which they
only
get
after performing
different
tasks together.
Thus
, it is completely
clear
that understanding the
positive
aspects of performing as a group mate is essential for not
only
the individual
but
also
for the whole community to behave well.

In conclusion
, it seems that there is a both upside and downside of this phenomenon, I argue that the advantages of giving preference to act in a group
undoubtedly
outweigh the benefits of looking for the competition.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 17/09/2017 Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behavior. Others disagree and think that the host countries should welcome cultural difference. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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