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The charts below show the percentage of food budget the average family spent on restaurant meals in different years. The graph shows the number of meals eaten in fast food restaurants and sit-down restaurants. Write a report for a university lecturer descr v.1

The charts below show the percentage of food budget the average family spent on restaurant meals in different years. The graph shows the number of meals eaten in fast food restaurants and sit-down restaurants. Write a report for a university lecturer descr v. 1
People have tended to work in self-employment than in the public firms or government organization. There is some positive side of this issue that this essay will be discussed about and I will present for disadvantages and advantages of this. On the one hand, there are some several reasons, that's why many people today choose to be self-employed. To begin with, this tendency can be attributed to the fact that the businessman from the private companies are likely to have better earning. In fact, the income of people who work at a traditional company, the salary often depends on their position, not due to their hard work or effort, so it does not fair to them. Besides, self-employment can help individuals get a higher income than those public businesses, because their salary will directly link to the their work performing. Furthermore, the employees in the self-employment will be flexible and their schedules that they can spend more time with family to tighten the bond. On the other hand, this trend also has some negative impacts that need to be considered a lot. Initially, the workers cannot receive a stable salary from their employer because there are a significant amount of situation that can be changed and their salary depends almost on the growth and income of the company in a month. In addition, they sometimes get a very high salary and sometimes their income might be extremely low. Then, the trading and economic market today is highly competitive, so when the private companies are unable to maintain their operation, there is a high risk of bankruptcy. To sum up, although working for the private company has a lot of benefits, they will have some trouble to maintain and increase the income for their employees.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have tended to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in self-employment than in the public firms or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
organization. There is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side of this issue that this essay will be
Did you mean simply "discussed and"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discussed about and
I will present for disadvantages and advantages of this.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
several reasons, that's why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
choose to be self-employed. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, this tendency can
be attributed
to the fact that the businessman from the private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are likely to have better earning. In fact, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at a traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
depends on their position, not due to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or effort,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
to them.
Besides
, self-employment can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
than those public businesses,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
will
directly
link to the their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
performing.
Furthermore
, the employees in the self-employment will be flexible and their schedules that they can spend more time with family to tighten the bond.

On the other hand
, this trend
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts that need to
be considered
a lot.
Initially
, the workers cannot receive a stable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
from their employer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are a significant
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "amounts"?
amount
of situation that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
depends almost on the growth and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
in a month.
In addition
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
might be
extremely
low. Then, the trading and economic market
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is
highly
competitive,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
when the private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are unable to maintain their operation, there is a high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of bankruptcy.

To sum up, although working for the private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits, they will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
trouble to maintain and increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
for their employees.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The charts below show the percentage of food budget the average family spent on restaurant meals in different years. The graph shows the number of meals eaten in fast food restaurants and sit-down restaurants. Write a report for a university lecturer descr v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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