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You are going to visit the UK for an ‘English and Homestay’ program. Write a letter to the host family. In your letter: – introduce yourself– ask the family some questions to get essential information about the UK– tell the family the scheduled d v.1

You are going to visit the UK for an ‘English and Homestay’ program. Write a letter to the host family. In your letter: – introduce yourself– ask the family some questions to get essential information about the UK– tell the family the scheduled d v. 1
In the present age, undoubtedly, one of the most significant issues of mankind is having a healthy lifestyle. Many realize that everyone should be responsible for its enforcement and promotion, while others argue that the government should adopt this burden to gain the goal. Below I shall examine the merits of both sides of the argument. To be sure, a convincing argument is that individuals must take some onus for their diet and health. The first and foremost one is having free will and make their own choices about what they eat and the exercise that they do. The fact of the matter is that, if people do not be forced to go on a diet, this discretion will yield to follow a balanced diet constantly. Apart from this, one other issue is that everyone is aware of his/her body better than others. To be more precise, it is widespread to see that someone has the ability and responsibility to adhere to a diet as well as exercise that this awareness allows everybody to react to any adverse effect sharply. Despite these arguments, there is also a case for advocating the intervention of the state. The first important point is restricting individuals from utilizing harmful foods. This issue can be explained by the fact that these days junk food and ready meals that are high in sugar, salt, and fat have been provided for people who are preoccupied with much involvement. Governments could regulate the ingredients of such food. Besides this, the after point to consider is that financial interest for governments. It is an undeniable fact that some governments also spend vast amounts of tax money to take action against the health problems of their citizens in hospitals. It would be logical to spend this on preventing active measures such as campaigns to encourage exercise and a sensible diet. Having considered both sides of the issue, I would concede that although individuals must take ultimate responsibility for what they eat, the government also has a vital role to play as only they can control the food supply. It is only through this combination that we can improve people's health.
In the present age,
undoubtedly
, one of the most significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
of mankind is having a healthy lifestyle.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
realize that everyone should be responsible for its enforcement and promotion, while others argue that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should adopt this burden to gain the goal. Below I shall examine the merits of both sides of the argument.

To be sure, a convincing argument is that individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
onus for their diet and health. The
first
and foremost one is having free will and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choices about what they eat and the exercise that they do. The fact of the matter is that, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not
be forced
to go on a diet, this discretion will yield to follow a balanced diet
constantly
. Apart from this, one other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
is that everyone is aware of his/her body better than others. To be more precise, it is widespread to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that someone has the ability and responsibility to adhere to a diet
as well
as exercise that this awareness
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
everybody to react to any adverse effect
sharply
.

Despite these arguments, there is
also
a case for advocating the intervention of the state. The
first
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
point is restricting individuals from utilizing harmful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
by the fact that these days junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and ready meals that are high in sugar, salt, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
have
been provided
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
are preoccupied
with much involvement.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
could regulate the ingredients of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Besides
this, the after point to consider is that financial interest for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
. It is an undeniable fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
also
spend vast amounts of tax money to take action against the health problems of their citizens in hospitals. It would be logical to spend this on preventing active measures such as campaigns to encourage exercise and a sensible diet.

Having considered both sides of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
, I would concede that although individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take ultimate responsibility for what they eat, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
also
has a vital role to play as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
they can control the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
supply. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
through this combination that we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's health.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay You are going to visit the UK for an ‘English and Homestay’ program. Write a letter to the host family. In your letter: – introduce yourself– ask the family some questions to get essential information about the UK– tell the family the scheduled d v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
360 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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