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The charts below show the levels of participation in education and science in developing and industrialised countries in 1980 and 1990. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. v.1

The charts below show the levels of participation in education and science in developing and industrialised countries in 1980 and 1990. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. v. 1
These days, more and more websites that are offering online shopping services are available in our daily lives. People can get almost anything they want by only clicking some buttons. It’s really desirable for us which are becoming busier for work, studying and so on. Therefore, I agree with the idea that says online shopping will take the roles of many shops in the future. Something similar happened in the past in Japan. When the shopping malls were first created, people working at the individual shops were worried that their jobs would be deprived by big shopping malls. Shopping malls include a food section, a clothing section, DIY section and many more sections all in one building. Before that, there were many small stores which were specific to in each field, and ran by individual families. At that time, people needed to visit several stores to get the necessary things. As the people predicted, a lot of small shops closed down because of the shopping malls. People preferred to buy everything they wanted all at the same place. What we can learn from this is very obvious. People are just pleased to get things much more easily without it being time-consuming. From this point of view, online shopping has a big advantage to shops in towns and cities because we can purchase without going anywhere. We don’t need to get ready at home to go to the shops. What we will need is a digital device that has access to the Internet. Besides that, we can browse many websites at once, so if we don’t like the products on a particular website, we can quickly go to another website and look for something similar. In conclusion, we can save time and energy on online shopping and it’s currently suitable for people. Unless shops in cities and towns take some measures to attract more customers, they will disappear in the future.
These days, more and more websites that are offering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
services are available in our daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
almost anything they want by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
clicking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
buttons. It’s
really
desirable for us which are becoming busier for work, studying and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that says
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
will take the roles of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
in the future.

Something similar happened in the past in Japan. When the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
were
first
created,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
working at the individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
were worried
that their jobs would
be deprived
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
include a food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
section
, a clothing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
section
, DIY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
section
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sections
all in one building.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
that, there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
stores which were specific to in each field, and ran by individual families. At that time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
needed to visit several stores to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the necessary things. As the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
predicted,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
closed down
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
preferred to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
everything they wanted all at the same place.

What we can learn from this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
obvious.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
pleased
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
things much more
easily
without it being time-consuming. From this point of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
advantage to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
in towns and cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
without going anywhere. We don’t need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
ready at home to go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
. What we will need is a digital device that has access to the Internet.
Besides
that, we can browse
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
websites at once,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
if we don’t like the products on a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
website
, we can
quickly
go to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
website
and look for something similar.

In conclusion
, we can save time and energy on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
and it’s
currently
suitable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Unless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
in cities and towns take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures to attract more customers, they will disappear in the future.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The charts below show the levels of participation in education and science in developing and industrialised countries in 1980 and 1990. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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