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The chart shows the proportion of people in a UK survey carried out in three di erent years who said they were interested in certain sports v.1

The chart shows the proportion of people in a UK survey carried out in three di erent years who said they were interested in certain sports v. 1
It is irrefutable that cars have become everyone's necessity in today's world. A growing number of individuals in developing nation's are buying vehicles these days. This essay will discuss two main causes, including an increase in car buying capacity of the masses and they are affordable. This essay will also suggest the vital solutions for the issue. The primary cause of increasing purchase of cars is because of the rise in the financial status of the folks. As the buying capacity of an average person is increasing, they can easily afford a car. For example, in a recent survey it is found that with the rise in the economy, there is a growth in wages of an individual. As a result, they can easily purchase a vehicle. Moreover, the price of four wheelers has reduced these days and plethora of banks are providing loans at a very low rate of interest. For instance, according to a research on automobiles, it is revealed that 95% of car prices have been reduced and banks provide 100%finance. Therefore, more cars are bought by people nowadays. There are several remedial measures to this problem. The government should increase the amount of propellant. As a consequence of this person will stop buying cars. To illustrate, recently in the 2018 budget the rate of fuel increased. There was a 90% drop in car sale. Furthermore, another solution is improvement in public transport. If the government enhances the public transport by reducing the fare, ameliorating comfort and frequency. Thus, more individuals will travel by public transport. To exemplify, in the UK buses, railways are made more comfortable at the nominal rates, as a result of this 80% public use these transportations instead of car. Overall, in order to reduce purchases of cars government should elevate costs of petrol and improve public travel. To conclude, popularity of buying automobiles is increasing these days because of rising the monetary status of the masses and affordability. However, if the cost of combustible is raised and public transport is improved this issue could be solved.
It is irrefutable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
have become everyone's necessity in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world. A growing number of individuals in developing
Did you mean the plural instead of the possessive?
nation's
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
vehicles these days. This essay will discuss two main causes, including an increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
capacity of the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
masses and
they are affordable. This essay will
also
suggest the vital solutions for the issue.

The primary cause of increasing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the rise in the financial status of the folks. As the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
capacity of an average person is increasing, they can
easily
afford a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
.
For example
, in a recent survey it
is found
that with the rise in the economy, there is a growth in wages of an individual.
As a result
, they can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
a vehicle.
Moreover
, the price of four
Possible spelling mistake found.
wheelers
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
these days and plethora of banks are providing loans at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low rate of interest.
For instance
, according to
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
on automobiles, it
is revealed
that 95% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
prices have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
and banks provide 100%finance.
Therefore
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
nowadays.

There are several remedial measures to this problem. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should increase the amount of propellant.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a consequence of this person will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. To illustrate, recently in the 2018 budget the rate of fuel increased. There was a 90% drop in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
sale.
Furthermore
, another solution is improvement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
. If the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
enhances the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
by reducing the fare, ameliorating comfort and frequency.
Thus
, more individuals will travel by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
. To exemplify, in the UK buses, railways
are made
more comfortable at the nominal rates,
as a result
of this 80%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these transportations
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
.
Overall
, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should elevate costs of petrol and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
travel.

To conclude
, popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
automobiles is increasing these days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of rising the monetary status of the masses and affordability.
However
, if the cost of combustible
is raised
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
this issue could
be solved
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay The chart shows the proportion of people in a UK survey carried out in three di erent years who said they were interested in certain sports v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
344 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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