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TPO24 - Q1)2Talk about a popular gathering place in your town where people like to go. Describe the place and explain why people enjoy going there. v.1

TPO24 - Q1)2Talk about a popular gathering place in your town where people like to go. Describe the place and explain why people enjoy going there. v. 1
Childhood is the best period in a person's life. If it is being completely controlled by parents, then it cannot be enjoyed joyfully. In my perspective, there should be a balanced approach which can be followed by parents. Through this essay, I will discuss both the views. For instance, if a child is being controlled by any of the parents, it will have a huge impact on his adulthood as he would not be able to make decisions independently. He will always rely upon not only on his parents but also on the other people in his life. The child might not have his own ambition and never be able to take risks, which in turn impact his professional growth. Also, since his behaviour was always being controlled by his parents, he might start lying to rebel against them. Also, there is a popular saying "Possessive parents, raise the best liars" On the contrary, if a youth is completely free to behave, then also it will have a negative impact. For instance, he might get into bad company because his parents never interfered in his life. He might end up hurting others. According to recent studies by Juvenile court, most of the convicted minors were either not staying with their parents or their behaviour was abusive because a lot of freedom was given to them during childhood. To conclude, I believe, proper control should be placed in the children's way of behaviour when it has to, and give them freedom to explore the world outside at the same time.
Childhood is the best period in a person's life. If it is being completely controlled by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, then it cannot
be enjoyed
joyfully
. In my perspective, there should be a balanced approach which can
be followed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. Through this essay, I will discuss both the views.

For instance
, if a child is
being controlled
by any of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, it will have a huge impact on his adulthood as he would not be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
decisions
independently
. He will always rely upon not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
on the other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in his life. The child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not have his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
ambition and never be able to take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
, which in turn impact his professional growth.
Also
, since his
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
was always
being controlled
by his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
lying to rebel against them.
Also
, there is a popular saying
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Possessive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "raises".
raise
the best liars
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"


On the contrary
, if a youth is completely free to behave, then
also
it will have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact.
For instance
, he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
never interfered in his life. He
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up hurting others. According to recent studies by Juvenile court, most of the convicted minors were either not staying with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
or their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
was abusive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
freedom was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to them during childhood.

To conclude
, I believe, proper control should
be placed
in the children's way of
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
when it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
, and give them freedom to explore the world outside at the same time.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO24 - Q1)2Talk about a popular gathering place in your town where people like to go. Describe the place and explain why people enjoy going there. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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