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The chart below shows the total number of minutes in millions of telephone calls in Finland divided into three categories from 1995 2004 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant RE v.1

The chart below shows the total number of minutes in millions of telephone calls in Finland divided into three categories from 1995 2004
Education plays a vital role in the growth of an individual. It is argued that, every individual should be able to gain a university education for free regardless of their income. I agree with this for two main reasons, as education can help in bringing out the talent and it can also help in increasing the employment rates. To begin with, by providing free university education would help in higher employment rates. This is because there will be a higher number of youngsters who would be capable of attaining a degree, which can therefore, in the future increase their chances of finding a good job. In a recent research, the number of graduates in 2018 had increased by 15% over the previous year, which indeed helped in bringing down the employment rate by 2%. A university degree plays an important role in attaining jobs. In addition, free education for individuals can help bring out the talent among youngsters. With free education, one can support the poor people who would not have the money to invest in further education, which can result in losing the people who possibly could be talented individuals but are not able to invest money for further education. Moreover, by providing free education it would also, increase the horizon of the thinking capabilities of an individual, which could as a result bring out some real talented individuals, who would benefit the society. When we have educated individuals we will also have a stronger human force, the same which can make our nation proud worldwide. To conclude, it would be beneficial to provide free university education, which can give us some positive results such as, increasing the employment rates and also giving a chance to talented people.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
plays a vital role in the growth of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
. It
is argued
that, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
should be able to gain a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
regardless of their income. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this for two main reasons, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in bringing out the talent and it can
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
rates.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, by providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
rates. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there will be a higher number of youngsters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
would be capable of attaining a degree, which can
therefore
, in the future increase their chances of finding a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job. In a recent research, the number of graduates in 2018 had increased by 15% over the previous year, which
indeed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
in bringing down the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
rate by 2%. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
degree plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in attaining jobs.

In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
bring out the talent among youngsters. With
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, one can support the poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
would not have the money to invest in
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, which can result in losing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
possibly
could
be talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
are not able to invest money for
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Moreover
, by providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
it would
also
, increase the horizon of the thinking capabilities of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
, which could
as a result
bring out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
real talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
would benefit the society. When we have educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
we will
also
have a stronger human force, the same which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our nation proud worldwide.

To conclude
, it would be beneficial to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, which can give us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
results such as, increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
rates and
also
giving a chance to talented
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The chart below shows the total number of minutes in millions of telephone calls in Finland divided into three categories from 1995 2004

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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