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It has recently been announced that a new high school may be built in your community. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why? Use specific reasons and details in your answer. v.1

It has recently been announced that a new high school may be built in your community. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why? Use specific reasons and details in your answer. v. 1
To attend kindergarten before primary school has been a debate as many people believe that it is a good step, while others believe that kids are better off with staying at home with their loved ones. The essay below will analyse both sides and also state my view on the topic. Firstly, it is not totally out of place that some people want the children to stay at their house until primary education. This is because, when young ones spend their early years with their family, it increases the chance of bonding which is very necessary for emotional development. In addition, as parents spend more time with their offspring, it allows them to understand the child's behaviour better, which will help in raising the young one. However, going to the nursery class is something that should be encouraged. The effect of early childhood learning cannot be underestimated and that is what it supports. It prepares the children for the bigger task which is primary education. For instance, it is well known that kids that attended preschool adjust better in class because, they were already thought the basic things like obeying orders. Therefore, they blend easily to the school routine with less problems. More so, when little ones are enrolled in the Playgroup, it opens the door for more interactions with other kids. This improves their communication since children are known to talk more when they are with their mates. And of course, as they discuss, they make new friends and that sharpens their social skills. In conclusion, kindergarten training should be welcomed. In as much as there are positives in keeping children with their people throughout the day, the benefits of exposing them to early school like easier adjustment and also improved speech greatly outweighs the opposite. I strongly that it is better for kids to attend it.
To attend kindergarten
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
primary school has been a debate as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
step, while others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
off with staying at home with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
. The essay below will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
both sides and
also
state my view on the topic.

Firstly
, it is not
totally
out of place that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to stay at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
until primary education. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, when young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
spend their early years with their family, it increases the chance of bonding which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
necessary for emotional development.
In addition
, as parents spend more time with their offspring, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to understand the child's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in raising the young one.

However
, going to the nursery
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
is something that should
be encouraged
. The effect of early childhood learning cannot
be underestimated
and
that is
what it supports. It prepares the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for the bigger task which is primary education.
For instance
, it is well known that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
that attended preschool adjust
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, they were already
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
the basic things like obeying orders.
Therefore
, they blend
easily
to the school routine with
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun problems is countable.
less
problems. More
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, when
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
are enrolled
in the Playgroup, it opens the door for more interactions with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
their communication since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are known
to talk more when they are with their mates. And
of course
, as they discuss, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends and that sharpens their social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

In conclusion
, kindergarten training should
be welcomed
. In as much as there are positives in keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
throughout the day, the benefits of exposing them to early school like easier adjustment and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
speech
greatly
outweighs the opposite. I
strongly
that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to attend it.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay It has recently been announced that a new high school may be built in your community. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why? Use specific reasons and details in your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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