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The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where r v.1

The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport.
If technology has made people more connected or less, is a topic that is often argued upon. While most people think that technology disconnects people, I am of the strong opinion that it brings people closer. To begin with, there is a little merit in the argument that people indulge in devices and gadgets to an extent that human contact is minimized a little. People tend to get so immersed in their virtual circle that they forget their immediate, real world. For example, it is a common sight in restaurants where a family that is sitting on a table, are all so engrossed in their phones that they are not talking to each other. Products like cell phones do tend to distant people and make them a little unsocial However, that's just one side of the story. A lot of inventions in the area of communication have enabled us to connect to humans beyond our geographies. One gets to connect and interact with people across the globe, based on common past like same school or colleges; or shared interests like trekking or music. Without the advent of social media, it would have been impossible to get in touch with your school friends who are now settled in London. Consider, for an example, web portals like Facebook and WhatsApp have helped billions of people stay in touch with their friends, family and even strangers who you share interests with. It opens a whole new world for us and gives us access to a wide range of social activities. To conclude, while the point that technology has distanced people a bit does hold a little truth, my strong opinion is it has brought people closer, thereby making man more social.
If technology has made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more connected or less, is a topic
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued upon. While most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that technology disconnects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, I am of the strong opinion that it brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
closer.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
little
merit in the argument that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
indulge in devices and gadgets to an extent that human contact
is minimized
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
little
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
immersed in their virtual circle that they forget their immediate, real world.
For example
, it is a common sight in restaurants where a family
that is
sitting on a table, are all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
engrossed in their phones that they are not talking to each other. Products like cell phones do tend to distant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
little
unsocial

However
, that's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one side of the story.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
inventions in the area of communication have enabled us to connect to humans beyond our geographies. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
to connect and interact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
across the globe, based on common past like same school or colleges; or shared interests like trekking or music. Without the advent of social media, it would have been impossible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in touch with your school friends who are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
settled in London. Consider, for an example, web portals like Facebook and WhatsApp have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
billions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
stay in touch with their friends, family and even strangers who you share interests with. It opens a whole new world for us and gives us access to a wide range of social activities.

To conclude
, while the point that technology has distanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a bit does hold a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
little
truth, my strong opinion is it has brought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
closer, thereby making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
more social.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
288 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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