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Compared to the past more younger adults take medications for degenerative diseases Provide specific reasons and examples to support your answer v.1

Compared to the past more younger adults take medications for degenerative diseases Provide specific reasons and examples to support your answer v. 1
IN THIS DIGITAL ERA, EVERYONE IS BUSY IN PURSUING HIGH CLASS LIFE STYLE. BUT THEY ARE FORGETING TO KNOW ABOUT WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THE WORLD ALSO ESSENTIAL FOR THEIR BRIGHT FUTURE. NEW GENERATION PEOPLE FROM SEVERAL NATIONS HAVE HAD A RARE HABIT OF READING NEWSPAPERS AND WATCHING NEWS ON TELEVISION. FIRSTLY, THIS ESSAY WILL STATE THE VARIOUS REASONS BEHIND THIS TREND AND SECONDLY DICSUSS WHAT ARE THE ACTIONS SCHOOL CAN TAKE TO IMPROVE THE NUMBER OF NEWS PAPER READERS. ON THE ONE HAND, TODAY'S MEWS CHANNELS PUBLISH THE MORE VIOLENT INFORMATION WHICH CAN HAVE DETRIMENTAL IMPACT ON YOUNG TEENEGERS. THAT IS WHY SOME PARENTS RESTRICT THEIR OFFSPRINGS FROM SEEING NEWSPAPER OR WATCHING BROADCAST ON T. V. HOWEVER, SOME YOUTH STILL ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT PREFERING HE NEWSPAPER TO FOLLOW THE WORLD. FOR INSTANCE, CHILD PROTECTION FIRM DID A SURVEY IN 2015 SHOWED THAT 80% OF PARENTS INSIST TO HAVVE CHILD LOCK SYSTEM FOR THEIR T. V TO SAVE THE CHILD FROM BAD INFLUENCE. HENCE, I BELIEVE, VIOLENCE MIGHT BE THE MAJOR CAUSE BEHING THE LACK OF INTEREST. ON THE ONTHER HAND, MAKING YOUNGSTRS AWARE OF NUMEROUS ADVANTAGES OF READING NEWSPAPERS. SUCH AS IT HELP IN INCREASE THE VOCABULARY AND COMPREHENSIVE SKILLS FOR ACADEMIC PURPOSE. FOE EXAMPLE, ALL IELTS CENTERS ADVISE THEIR STUDENTS TO READ MAGAZINE OR NEWSPAPER TO OBTAIN PROFICIENCY LIKE NATIVE ENGLISH SPEAKER. IN CONCLUSION, EVERYONE HAS THEIR ONW CHOICE FOR WHAT TO DO AND NOT. BUT, WHAT I SUGGEST IS THAT, ESSENTIALLY IT IS A PARENT'S AND MENTOR RESPONCIBILITY TO MAKE THEM KNOW ABOUT BENEFITS REGARDING READING HABITS OF NEWS PAPER AND FOLLOWING THE TV BROADCAST.
IN THIS DIGITAL ERA, EVERYONE IS BUSY IN PURSUING HIGH
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
CLASS
LIFE STYLE.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BUT
THEY ARE
Possible spelling mistake found.
FORGETING
TO KNOW ABOUT WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THE WORLD
ALSO
ESSENTIAL FOR THEIR BRIGHT FUTURE.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
NEW
GENERATION
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PEOPLE
FROM SEVERAL NATIONS HAVE HAD A RARE HABIT OF READING
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
NEWSPAPERS
AND WATCHING
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
NEWS
ON TELEVISION.
FIRSTLY
, THIS ESSAY WILL STATE THE VARIOUS REASONS BEHIND THIS TREND AND
SECONDLY
Possible spelling mistake found.
DICSUSS
WHAT ARE THE ACTIONS SCHOOL CAN TAKE TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
IMPROVE
THE NUMBER OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
NEWS
PAPER READERS.

ON THE ONE HAND,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
TODAY
'S MEWS CHANNELS PUBLISH THE MORE VIOLENT INFORMATION WHICH CAN HAVE DETRIMENTAL IMPACT ON YOUNG
Possible spelling mistake found.
TEENEGERS
.
THAT IS
WHY
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
PARENTS RESTRICT THEIR
Possible spelling mistake found.
OFFSPRINGS
FROM SEEING
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
NEWSPAPER
OR WATCHING BROADCAST ON T. V.
HOWEVER
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
Did you mean "youths"?
YOUTH
STILL
ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT
Possible spelling mistake found.
PREFERING
HE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
NEWSPAPER
TO FOLLOW THE WORLD.
FOR INSTANCE
, CHILD PROTECTION FIRM DID A SURVEY IN 2015
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SHOWED
THAT 80% OF PARENTS INSIST TO
Possible spelling mistake found.
HAVVE
CHILD LOCK SYSTEM FOR THEIR T. V TO SAVE THE CHILD FROM
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
BAD
INFLUENCE.
HENCE
, I BELIEVE, VIOLENCE MIGHT BE THE MAJOR CAUSE
Possible spelling mistake found.
BEHING
THE LACK OF INTEREST.

ON THE
Possible spelling mistake found.
ONTHER
HAND, MAKING
Possible spelling mistake found.
YOUNGSTRS
AWARE OF NUMEROUS ADVANTAGES OF READING
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
NEWSPAPERS
. SUCH AS IT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
HELP
IN INCREASE THE VOCABULARY AND COMPREHENSIVE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SKILLS
FOR ACADEMIC PURPOSE. FOE EXAMPLE, ALL IELTS CENTERS ADVISE THEIR STUDENTS TO READ MAGAZINE OR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
NEWSPAPER
TO OBTAIN PROFICIENCY LIKE NATIVE ENGLISH SPEAKER.

IN CONCLUSION
, EVERYONE HAS THEIR
Possible spelling mistake found.
ONW
CHOICE FOR WHAT TO DO AND NOT.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BUT
, WHAT I SUGGEST IS THAT,
ESSENTIALLY
IT IS A PARENT'S AND MENTOR
Possible spelling mistake found.
RESPONCIBILITY
TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
MAKE
THEM KNOW ABOUT BENEFITS REGARDING READING HABITS OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
NEWS
PAPER AND FOLLOWING THE TV BROADCAST.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Compared to the past more younger adults take medications for degenerative diseases Provide specific reasons and examples to support your answer v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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