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The chart below shows the number of travelers using three major airports in New York City between 1995 and 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.1

The chart below shows the number of travelers using three major airports in New York City between 1995 and 2000.
A number of languages have gone extinct over the last few decades. Although many individuals are of the opinion that it is critical to preserve each and every language, I believe that having only a few common languages will make our lives easier. Each language is unique to a culture and learning it is a great way to understand that culture. Also, languages create a sense of unity and belongings among people. For instance, whenever two individuals from the same country meet in a foreign place, they are excited to communicate in their native language. Obviously, language helps the bonding between people. On the other hand, in this age of globalization, it is highly beneficial to speak a common language in order to avoid confusion and facilitate effective communication. Using a link language like English has helped nations to come closer and increased trade and commerce among them. If we had not chosen a single language to communicate globally, even the advent of technology could not have helped us to achieve the kind of progress we have achieved now. Much like work experience, knowing a widely used language helps the career prospects of individuals. For example, nowadays, English is the medium of instruction in a number of schools all over the world. Even in countries where English is not the first or second language, there are English medium schools because people have realized that this language is the key to professional success. In conclusion, although it is important to save the languages from dying, it is not hard to see that a common language is in everyone’s interest. It boosts trade and commerce between countries and enhances the career prospects of individuals. Hence, in my opinion, the extinction of not so popular local languages is not a major cause for concern.
A number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
have gone extinct over the last few decades. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
are of the opinion that it is critical to preserve each and every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, I believe that having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a few common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
easier.

Each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is unique to a culture and learning it is a great way to understand that culture.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
create a sense of unity and belongings among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
For instance
, whenever two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
from the same country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
in a foreign place, they
are excited
to communicate in their native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.
Obviously
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the bonding between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the other hand
, in this age of globalization, it is
highly
beneficial to speak a common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in order to avoid confusion and facilitate effective communication. Using a link
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
like English has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
nations to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
closer and increased trade and commerce among them. If we had not chosen a single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
to communicate globally, even the advent of technology could not have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
us to achieve the kind of progress we have achieved
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. Much like work experience, knowing a
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the career prospects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
.
For example
, nowadays, English is the medium of instruction in a number of schools all over the world. Even in countries where English is not the
first
or second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, there are English medium schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have realized that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is the key to professional success.

In conclusion
, although it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to save the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
from dying, it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that a common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is in everyone’s interest. It boosts trade and commerce between countries and enhances the career prospects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
.
Hence
, in my opinion, the extinction of not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
popular local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
is not a major cause for concern.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay The chart below shows the number of travelers using three major airports in New York City between 1995 and 2000.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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