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the chart below shows the most popular films by genre for men and women and general ticket sales for different types of film in the USA in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. v.1

the chart below shows the most popular films by genre for men and women and general ticket sales for different types of film in the USA in 2010.
IN CONTEMPORARY ERA, PROGRAMMABLE ROBOTICS ARE PROLIFERATING AT AN ALARMING RATE. THERE IS A GROWING PERCEPTION IN THE SOCIETY THAT ALL OCCUPATIONS WILL BE CARRIED OUT BY ROBOTS IN THE NEAR FUTURE. WHILE, I BELIEVE THAT MOST OF THE MEINAL AS WELL AS REGOROUS JOBS ARE LIKELY TO BE HEADED BY ARTIFICIAL INTELLEGENCE; HOWEVER, OTHERS THAT REQUIRE HUMAN PRESENCE WILL REMAIN IN THE HANDS OF HUMAN ONLY. THIS ESSAY WILL DISCUSS ABOUT THE REASONS SUPPORTING MY OPINION. TO EMBARK ON, ROBOTS MAY REPLACE HUMAN BEINGS IN ALL THOSE JOBS WHICH DONOT REQUIRE ANY KIND OF SPECIFIC SKILLS AND EXPERIENCE. THE MAIN REASON BEHIND THIS TREND IS, EMPLOYING ROBOTS FOR SIMPLE TASKS WILL CONSIDERABLY REDUCE THE COST OF EMPLOYING THE MANPOWER. IN ADDITION, THE TOUGH JOBS THAT MAY JEOPARDISE THE LIVES OF HUMANS, WILL DEFENATELY BE CARRIED OUT BY MACHINES. COAL MINING, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A CUMBERSOME TASK FOR A LIVING CREATURE, WHEREAS, SUCH THREATENING JOBS WILL BE COMPLETED BY COMPUTER OPERATED MACHINE WITHOUT BEING CHANCE OF ANY MENANCE. THUS, IT IS CLEARLY VISIBLE THAT ROBOTS CAN FACILITATE THE INDUSTORY THROUGH MULTIPLE WAYS. ON THE OTHER SIDE, ADMITTEDLY, THOSE OCCUPATIONS THAT DEMAND HUMAN CONTACT AND THEIR ACTIVE INVOLVEMENT WILL NEVER LET DOWN. SIGNIFICANCE OF HUMANS IN SOME JOBS SUCH AS EDUCATION, PSYCHOLOGY, MEDICINES WILL REMAINAS IT AS FOR AGES. LACKING IN EXPRESSIONS, ABSENCE OF WORD COMMAND, AND BEING NON EMOTIONAL, ARE THE FACORTS PROVING ROBOTS INCOMPETENT FOR SOME SPECIFIC JOBS. AS PER EDUCATIONISTS, THE STUDY CONTENT TAUGHT BY SOME SOFTWARE PROGRAMMS SEEMS JUST LIKE SEDENTARY TALKS DUE TO ABSENCE OF EXPRESSIONS, WHICH WILL NOT BE AS EFFECTIVE AS EXPLAINED BY A TEACHER, WHO, NOT ONLY PARTICIPATE ACTIVELY, BUT ALSO FOSTER NEW LIFE IN STUDENTS THROUGH VARIETY OF GESTURES. HENCE, ITCAN BE SAID THAT ALL JOBS ARE NOT SUITABLE FOR ROBOTS. TO SUM UP, DESPITE OF THE FACT THAT TECHNOLOGY HAS INCORPRATED ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENT IN DAY TO DAY LIFE, NONTHELESS, DENIABLE FACT IS THE IMPORTANCE OF MANPOWER WILL NEVER BE COMPLETELY OMITTED FROM THE WORLD.
IN CONTEMPORARY ERA, PROGRAMMABLE ROBOTICS ARE PROLIFERATING AT AN ALARMING RATE. THERE IS A GROWING PERCEPTION IN THE SOCIETY THAT ALL OCCUPATIONS WILL
BE CARRIED
OUT BY ROBOTS IN THE NEAR FUTURE. WHILE, I BELIEVE THAT MOST OF THE
Possible spelling mistake found.
MEINAL
AS WELL
AS
Possible spelling mistake found.
REGOROUS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
JOBS
ARE LIKELY TO
BE HEADED
BY ARTIFICIAL
Possible spelling mistake found.
INTELLEGENCE
;
HOWEVER
, OTHERS THAT REQUIRE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
HUMAN
PRESENCE WILL REMAIN IN THE HANDS OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
HUMAN
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ONLY
. THIS ESSAY WILL
Did you mean simply "DISCUSS THE"? You do not need the word "about" here.
DISCUSS ABOUT THE
REASONS SUPPORTING MY OPINION.

TO EMBARK ON, ROBOTS MAY REPLACE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
HUMAN
BEINGS IN ALL THOSE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
JOBS
WHICH
Possible spelling mistake found.
DONOT
REQUIRE ANY KIND OF SPECIFIC
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SKILLS
AND EXPERIENCE. THE MAIN REASON BEHIND THIS TREND IS, EMPLOYING ROBOTS FOR SIMPLE TASKS WILL
CONSIDERABLY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
REDUCE
THE COST OF EMPLOYING THE MANPOWER.
IN ADDITION
, THE TOUGH
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
JOBS
THAT MAY
Possible spelling mistake. 'JEOPARDISE' is British English.
JEOPARDISE
THE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
LIVES
OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
HUMANS
, WILL
Possible spelling mistake found.
DEFENATELY
BE CARRIED
OUT BY MACHINES. COAL MINING,
FOR EXAMPLE
, IS A CUMBERSOME TASK FOR A LIVING CREATURE, WHEREAS, SUCH THREATENING
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
JOBS
WILL
BE COMPLETED
BY COMPUTER OPERATED MACHINE WITHOUT BEING CHANCE OF ANY
Possible spelling mistake found.
MENANCE
.
THUS
, IT IS
CLEARLY
VISIBLE THAT ROBOTS CAN FACILITATE THE
Possible spelling mistake found.
INDUSTORY
THROUGH MULTIPLE WAYS.

ON THE OTHER SIDE,
ADMITTEDLY
, THOSE OCCUPATIONS THAT DEMAND
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
HUMAN
CONTACT AND THEIR ACTIVE INVOLVEMENT WILL NEVER
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
LET
DOWN. SIGNIFICANCE OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
HUMANS
IN
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
JOBS
SUCH AS EDUCATION, PSYCHOLOGY, MEDICINES WILL
Possible spelling mistake found.
REMAINAS
IT AS FOR AGES. LACKING IN EXPRESSIONS, ABSENCE OF WORD COMMAND, AND BEING
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
NON EMOTIONAL
, ARE THE
Possible spelling mistake found.
FACORTS
PROVING ROBOTS INCOMPETENT FOR
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
SPECIFIC
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
JOBS
. AS PER EDUCATIONISTS, THE STUDY CONTENT TAUGHT BY
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
SOFTWARE
Possible spelling mistake found.
PROGRAMMS
SEEMS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
JUST
LIKE SEDENTARY TALKS DUE TO ABSENCE OF EXPRESSIONS, WHICH WILL NOT BE AS EFFECTIVE AS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
EXPLAINED
BY A TEACHER, WHO, NOT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ONLY
PARTICIPATE
ACTIVELY
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BUT
ALSO
FOSTER NEW LIFE IN STUDENTS THROUGH VARIETY OF GESTURES.
HENCE
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ITCAN
BE SAID
THAT ALL
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
JOBS
ARE NOT SUITABLE FOR ROBOTS.

TO SUM UP,
Did you mean "DESPITE" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
DESPITE OF
THE FACT THAT TECHNOLOGY HAS
Possible spelling mistake found.
INCORPRATED
ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENT IN DAY TO DAY LIFE,
Possible spelling mistake found.
NONTHELESS
, DENIABLE FACT IS THE IMPORTANCE OF MANPOWER WILL NEVER BE COMPLETELY OMITTED FROM THE WORLD.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay the chart below shows the most popular films by genre for men and women and general ticket sales for different types of film in the USA in 2010.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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