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q1. what would you like to accomplish over the next 5 years. Use reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

q1. what would you like to accomplish over the next 5 years. Use reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
Due to numerous reasons people around the world are moving to renewable energy sources, especially solar energy. There are certain benefits as well as drawbacks when it comes to this particular source of energy, which will be discussed in this essay. On the one hand, people nowadays are more concerned regarding the protection of the environment. Global warming and temperature rises are the main challenges faced by countries today in the aspect of the environment, which, in fact generated by fossil fuels. Hence, in order to contribute to the effort of saving mother nature, more and more individuals are converting their houses to solar powered homes. Undoubtedly, this would help to reduce the pollution of the nature which is a great outcome. Moreover, the solar energy is free it there for anyone to take if they need it. As a result; individuals believe it as a major investment which they can get profit in the future. On the other hand, although this energy source is free, in order to harvest this a person need quite a number of equipment which are not cheap. Therefore, the initial investment of this power source is quite high. In addition, for the countries with little sunlight per day this method of energy is not suitable, because, the energy storage methods today is not up to the standard of storing solar captured energy. Another one problem is the maintenance of the equipment, which sometimes can be a burden. In conclusion, solar powered houses are a great way to turn away from conventional energy sources that destroy the nature and due to the fact it is freely available makes it more attractive. However, equipment cost and repairs are the major disadvantages of this renewable energy source.
Due to numerous reasons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the world are moving to renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
. There are certain benefits
as well
as drawbacks when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to this particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
, which will
be discussed
in this essay.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
nowadays are more concerned regarding the protection of the environment. Global warming and temperature rises are the main challenges faced by countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
in the aspect of the environment, which, in fact generated by fossil fuels.
Hence
, in order to contribute to the effort of saving mother nature, more and more individuals are converting their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solar
powered homes.
Undoubtedly
, this would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the pollution of the nature which is a great outcome.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
is free it there for anyone to take if they need it.
As a result
; individuals believe it as a major investment which they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
profit in the future.

On the other hand
, although this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
is free, in order to harvest this a person need quite
Possible agreement error. The noun equipment seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much equipment", "a good deal of equipment".
a number of equipment
which are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
.
Therefore
, the initial investment of this power
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
is quite high.
In addition
, for the countries with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
sunlight per day this method of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
is not suitable,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
storage methods
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is not up to the standard of storing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solar
captured
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
. Another one problem is the maintenance of the equipment, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
can be a burden.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solar
powered
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
are a great way to turn away from conventional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the nature and due to the fact it is
freely
available
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it more attractive.
However
, equipment cost and repairs are the major disadvantages of this renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay q1. what would you like to accomplish over the next 5 years. Use reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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