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The chart below shows the average daily minimum and maximum levels of two air pollutants in four big cities in 2000. v.1

The chart below shows the average daily minimum and maximum levels of two air pollutants in four big cities in 2000. v. 1
The lack of accommodation has become a serious urban social issue in many metropolitan areas of the world. It has been argued that only the leaders of the countries can tackle this problem. In my opinion, without the supporting from other parties, the government could not cope well with the housing shortage. It cannot be denied that country management system plays a vital role in many of our lives, but nevertheless government intervention would hamper the private sector. For instance, the supply of urban spaces is constrained by locally controlled land use plans that make the property developers difficult to build housing in the places where it is most highly valued—in dense urban settings. Although, there’s a growing demand for urban living. Given its role in attracting public consumption and accelerating economic development, the real estate industry should be at the mercy of the market, rather than the government. Another drawback of state control over the housing market is that it could pose a huge burden upon the state. The government has borne the funding for various affordable public housing programs, and concern has arisen because of the poor condition of the surrounding environment, traffic connectivity and numerous other social and service facilities like schools, markets, or hospitals. For example, most of social flats are outside the expensive centre of Ho Chi Minh, the social housing projects may boast affordable price tags even to low-income groups, but ultimately the long commute between home and work rendered this to become a disadvantage. Consequently, the programme of building a large amount of public housing will probably heavily burden a country. To conclude, I believe that governments play an important role in meeting basic housing demands of individuals, but the joint effort of both government and private sector is required.
The lack of accommodation has become a serious
urban
social
issue in
many
metropolitan areas of the world. It has
been argued
that
only
the leaders of the countries can tackle this problem. In my opinion, without the supporting from other parties, the
government
could not cope well with the housing shortage.

It cannot
be denied
that country management system plays a vital role in
many
of our
lives
,
but
nevertheless
government
intervention would hamper the private sector.
For instance
, the supply of
urban
spaces
is constrained
by
locally
controlled land
use
plans that
make
the property developers difficult to build housing in the places where it is most
highly
valued—in dense
urban
settings. Although, there’s a growing demand for
urban
living.
Given
its role in attracting public consumption and accelerating economic development, the real estate industry should be at the mercy of the market,
rather
than the
government
.

Another drawback of state control over the housing market is that it could pose a huge burden upon the state. The
government
has borne the funding for various affordable public housing programs, and concern has arisen
because
of the poor condition of the surrounding environment, traffic connectivity and numerous other
social
and service facilities like schools, markets, or hospitals.
For example
, most of
social
flats are outside the expensive
centre
of Ho Chi Minh, the
social
housing projects may boast affordable price tags even to low-income groups,
but
ultimately
the long commute between home and work rendered this to become a disadvantage.
Consequently
, the
programme
of building a large amount of public housing will
probably
heavily
burden a country.

To conclude
, I believe that
governments
play an
important
role in meeting basic housing demands of individuals,
but
the joint effort of both
government
and private sector
is required
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The chart below shows the average daily minimum and maximum levels of two air pollutants in four big cities in 2000. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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