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The chart below shows information about subway systems in three major European cities. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main information and making comparisons. v.1

The chart below shows information about subway systems in three major European cities.
Student attitude has been the major problem in educational institution in many states. Lack of behaviour at home can be the major concern and proper parenting can be the solution for these kind of problems to deal with. First of all, the way of behaving is the most important factor. Without these qualities children can't grow properly. They don't know how to talk with their elders, and it leads to bad impression on the kids. No one even tries to teach good disciplinary qualities to them. For example, my cousin's behaviour towards my family is so bad. These qualities have reflected him in his school as well, as it leads to negative impression on him. On the other hand, the possible solution can be the proper parenting. Now-a-days, parents are busy with their employment, and they don't have enough time to spend with their children. This may lead to negative impact on them. The parents must take care of their kids, and also parents should participate in the child training centres in order to improve their children's way of thinking. To the instance, my nephew's parents have given him proper caring, and spent their time with him, and they also participated in the children caring association in order to raise their child in a positive way. Now he is very respectful in his school as well. In conclusion, the kid's performance has been the vital role in educational centres among many nations because of right behaviour, and proper parenting can be a solution. It is predicted that children will know how to behave in school with their teachers.
Student attitude has been the major problem in educational institution in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
states. Lack of
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
at home can be the major concern and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
parenting can be the solution for
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of problems to deal with.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the way of behaving is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor. Without these qualities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can't grow
properly
. They don't know how to talk with their elders, and it leads to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impression on the kids. No one even tries to teach
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
disciplinary qualities to them.
For example
, my cousin's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
towards my family is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
. These qualities have reflected him in his school
as well
, as it leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impression on him.

On the other hand
, the possible solution can be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
parenting.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
-a-days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are busy with their employment, and they don't have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to spend with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This may lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on them. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take care of their kids, and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should participate in the child training
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their children's way of thinking. To the instance, my nephew's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
him
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
caring, and spent their time with him, and they
also
participated in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
caring association in order to raise their child in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
he is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
respectful in his school
as well
.

In conclusion
, the kid's performance has been the vital role in educational
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of right
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
parenting can be a solution. It
is predicted
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will know how to behave in school with their teachers.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay The chart below shows information about subway systems in three major European cities.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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