Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

q6-pctc5Scientists have learned some interesting things about animals and the ways they’ve evolved to ensure their survival. One adaptation we’ve seen animals take advantage of to protect themselves against predators is mimicry. Mimicry is unique beca v.1

q6-pctc5Scientists have learned some interesting things about animals and the ways they’ve evolved to ensure their survival. One adaptation we’ve seen animals take advantage of to protect themselves against predators is mimicry. Mimicry is unique beca v. 1
In many countries, governments implement rules and regulations to protect their citizens. While many feel a law is required to prevent children from going out after midnight, I think this is not reasonable. There are some good reasons why some people agree with the idea of having a law which avoids teenagers going outside after midnight. One reason behind this is teens may get addicted to drugs. A good example of this is, in developed countries, mostly night clubs open at midnight, and these places often encourage youngsters to use illegal drugs which they have never used. Also, there is no safety on roads after midnight because roads are empty. Therefore, crimes can happen in those areas. To illustrate this, kidnapping, stealing, and sexually assaulting may happen at deserted places, and teens may get affected by it. Coming to the other side, I support those who believe restrictions are not necessary, and youngsters should be allowed to go outside after twelve o'clock. This is because a rule can violate one's freedom. To exemplify, if the rule exists, a child cannot take part in functions that take place at night. As a result, such a development can improve their stress and dissatisfaction. In addition, emergency situations are inevitable. At this point, people have to take immediate action without considering the time, such as an unconscious child may have to attend the hospital for medical treatments. In conclusion, although many hold the view that a law should be implemented to restrict children going outside after twelve at night, it is my firm belief that children should be free from such laws.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
implement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations to protect their citizens. While
Possible agreement error. The noun feel seems to be countable; consider using: "many feels".
many feel
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
is required
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
children from going out after midnight, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is not reasonable.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
which avoids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
going outside after midnight. One reason behind this is teens may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
addicted to drugs. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example of this is, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
,
mostly
night clubs open at midnight, and these places
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
encourage youngsters to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
illegal drugs which they have never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.
Also
, there is no safety on roads after midnight
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
roads are empty.
Therefore
, crimes can happen in those areas. To illustrate this, kidnapping, stealing, and
sexually
assaulting may happen at deserted places, and teens may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by it.

Coming to the other side, I support those who believe restrictions are not necessary, and youngsters should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to go outside after twelve o'clock. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
can violate one's freedom. To exemplify, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
exists, a child cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in functions that take place at night.
As a result
, such a development can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and dissatisfaction.
In addition
, emergency situations are inevitable. At this point,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take immediate action without considering the time, such as an unconscious child may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
attend the hospital for medical treatments.

In conclusion
, although
Possible agreement error. The noun hold seems to be countable; consider using: "many holds".
many hold
the view that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
should
be implemented
to restrict children going outside after twelve at night, it is my firm belief that children should be free from such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay q6-pctc5Scientists have learned some interesting things about animals and the ways they’ve evolved to ensure their survival. One adaptation we’ve seen animals take advantage of to protect themselves against predators is mimicry. Mimicry is unique beca v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts