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The chart below gives information about billions of euros invested in four areas by various organisations v.1

The chart below gives information about billions of euros invested in four areas by various organisations v. 1
The last two decades have seen enormous changes in the way people's lives are affected by selling products in everywhere, with many advances. However, while these developments have brought many benefits to the world, it can be argued that purchasing the same things in it will result in more negative impact than positive. To begin, selling the same products anywhere has saved the money and time of costumer, resulting in numerous benefits for commerce and business. Furthermore, the specialized goods mean that products on factory is now available to us. For example, people can get any products that are not produced in their own country and much more via this way. It is evident that there improvements have made life far easier and more convenient for a large number of people and will continue to do so for decades to come. Nevertheless, the effects of this development have not all been beneficial. For example, many people feel that widespread of importing goods is destroying national manufacturer's effort and belief. This could result in a decline in gross domestic product and people's purchasing availabilities. Unfortunately, this kind of problem might even get worse in the future at least. In conclusion, developments in purchasing the similar products have brought many benefits, yet I believe developments relating to this are likely to produce many negative effects in the future that must be addressed if we are to avoid damaging impacts on individuals and society.
The last two decades have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
enormous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the way
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by selling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in everywhere, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advances.
However
, while these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developments
have brought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits to the world, it can
be argued
that purchasing the same things in it will result in more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, selling the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
anywhere has saved the money and time of costumer, resulting in numerous benefits for commerce and business.
Furthermore
, the specialized
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
mean that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
on factory is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
available to us.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that are not produced in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country and much more via this way. It is evident that there improvements have made life far easier and more convenient for
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and will continue to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
for decades to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
.

Nevertheless
, the effects of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
have not all been beneficial.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel that widespread of importing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
is destroying national manufacturer's effort and belief. This could result in a decline in gross domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's purchasing availabilities. Unfortunately, this kind of problem might even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
worse in the future at least.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developments
in purchasing the similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
have brought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits,
yet
I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developments
relating to this are likely to produce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects in the future that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be addressed
if we are to avoid damaging impacts on individuals and society.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The chart below gives information about billions of euros invested in four areas by various organisations v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
241 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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