Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Question: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Imagine that you are in a classroom or a meeting. The teacher or the meeting leader says something incorrect. In your opinion, which of the following is the best thing to do? 1）Interrupt and v.4

Question: Imagine that you are in a classroom or a meeting. The teacher or the meeting leader says something incorrect. In your opinion, which of the following is the best thing to do? 1）Interrupt and v. 4
Some people believe that the celebrities deserve to be highly paid because they serve the country and represent the country’s culture to the globe. While others believe that there are other professions that should earn high salaries because of what they present. I am of the belief that microbiological scientists, teachers and firefighters should earn more money than entertainers. Both views will be discussed in this essay. On one hand, celebrities play an important role in serving the country as they participate in campaigns for dealing with serious problems that faces the society. Moreover, they are exposed to psychological pressure due to the absence of privacy which sometimes led to suicide. For example, Dalida was one of the most well-known and successful singers, she had suffered from depression because she was surrounded by many journalists without finding a way to escape from them so she comitted suicide. Having this example, it is believed that entertainers have their own rights to be paid well. On the other hand, there are many professions which serve the people and the society such as teachers, firefighters and microbiological scientists; this sector of the society should earn more money than celebrities. Doctors, pharmacists and biologists spend a lots of time searching and discovering a molecule or a drug which can rescue the society from a disease. Educators who built the future generation and firefighters who sacrify themselves to save other peoples' homes should be he highly paid. This can be witnessed by Doctor Magdy Yacoob who plays a philanthropic role in the medical area; he donate his effort doing heart surgeries for people without any returns. That is why these sacrificers should earn better than a sport man, a singer or an actor. In conclusion, the previous points strengthen my opinion that there are professions which are faced with high risk should deserve to be paid well more than entertainers. However, celebrities receive the payment that they deserve.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
deserve to be
highly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they serve the country and represent the country’s culture to the globe.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
others believe that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
professions that should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
high salaries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of what they present. I am of the belief that microbiological scientists, teachers and firefighters should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
more money than entertainers. Both views will
be discussed
in this essay.

On one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in serving the country as they participate in campaigns for dealing with serious problems that faces the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Moreover
, they
are exposed
to psychological pressure due to the absence of privacy which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
led to suicide.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dalida
was one of the most well-known and successful singers, she had suffered from depression
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
she
was surrounded
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
journalists without finding a way to escape from them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
she
Possible spelling mistake found.
comitted
suicide. Having this example, it
is believed
that entertainers have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
rights to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
well.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
professions which serve the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
such as teachers, firefighters and microbiological scientists; this sector of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
more money than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
. Doctors, pharmacists and biologists spend
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a lot" or simply "lots"?
a lots
of time searching and discovering a molecule or a drug which can rescue the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
from a disease. Educators who built the future generation and firefighters who
Possible spelling mistake found.
sacrify
themselves to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
peoples' homes should be he
highly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
. This can
be witnessed
by Doctor
Possible spelling mistake found.
Magdy
Possible spelling mistake found.
Yacoob
who plays a philanthropic role in the medical area; he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "donates", "donated".
donate
his effort doing heart surgeries for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
without any returns.
That is
why these sacrificers should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
better than a sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
, a singer or an actor.

In conclusion
, the previous points strengthen my opinion that there are professions which
are faced
with high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
should deserve to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
well more than entertainers.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
receive the payment that they deserve.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The joy of knowing a foreign language is inexpressible. I find it really difficult to express such joy in my mother tongue.
Munia Khan

IELTS essay Question: Imagine that you are in a classroom or a meeting. The teacher or the meeting leader says something incorrect. In your opinion, which of the following is the best thing to do? 1）Interrupt and v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts