Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The car is a disastrous 20th Century invention that has made the world’s cities more dangerous and polluted, as well as being responsible for the deaths of millions of people in accidents. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

The car is a disastrous 20th Century invention that has made the world’s cities more dangerous and polluted, as well as being responsible for the deaths of millions of people in accidents. v. 1
Some people believe that the car is a disastrous invention of the 20th Century. The car has affected cities by the danger of traffics and pollution of gas emission, furthermore, it causes numerous accidents and deaths. In my opinion, I disagree that the car is a disastrous invention, however, I also think that the car has some negative aspects. There is no doubt that the car has given us faster transportation. For one thing, it has become more useful and safer in emergency cases. One clear example is, the vehicles such as ambulance, police car and fire truck are working to help people’s lives. When an incident happens, they run to the accident scene and have saved millions of people’s lives. Secondly, the faster transportation possibilities to ship food and supplies everywhere including rural areas. If the car had not been invented, our normal lives would be more difficult. On the other hand, the car has several negative aspects. Another point to consider is the issue of traffic jams. Recently, too many people drive car, consequently, the roads in the big cities are packed with cars. From this phenomenon, it will provoke car accidents and air pollution from gas emission. Regarding that issue, the government advocates the citizens to use public transportation to reduce the traffic flow. This will help to reduce the problem caused by the car. In conclusion, although there are several disadvantages of the car, I believe that the car invention has given our lives safer and more convenient way of life. Accordingly, it is generally advisable for people to select other transportation to decrease the problems caused by the car.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
is a disastrous invention of the 20th Century. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
cities by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of traffics and pollution of gas emission,
furthermore
, it causes numerous accidents and deaths. In my opinion, I disagree that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
is a disastrous invention,
however
, I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects.

There is no doubt that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
us faster
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
. For one thing, it has become more useful and safer in emergency cases. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
example is, the vehicles such as ambulance, police
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
and fire truck are working to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. When an incident happens, they run to the accident scene and have saved millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
Secondly
, the faster
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
possibilities to ship food and supplies everywhere including rural areas. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
had not
been invented
, our normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
would be more difficult.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
has several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects. Another point to consider is the issue of traffic jams. Recently, too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
drive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
,
consequently
, the roads in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities
are packed
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. From this phenomenon, it will provoke
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
accidents and air pollution from gas emission. Regarding that issue, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
advocates the citizens to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the traffic flow. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the problem caused by the car.

In conclusion
, although there are several disadvantages of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
, I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
invention has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
safer and more convenient way of life.
Accordingly
, it is
generally
advisable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to select other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
to decrease the problems caused by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The car is a disastrous 20th Century invention that has made the world’s cities more dangerous and polluted, as well as being responsible for the deaths of millions of people in accidents. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts