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The best way to reduce air pollution is for the government to raise the cost of fuel (petrol). v.2

The best way to reduce air pollution is for the government to raise the cost of fuel (petrol). v. 2
With winter approaching, every person living in Beijing city has to wear a thick mask when they want to hang out. As we all know, there are many cities around the world today which have a severe problem in air pollution like Beijing. Governments should take action without any waiting. Some experts suggest that government raise the price of fuel to reduce the emission of pollutants in order to solve the air pollution problem. According to my perspective, however, it will not work out. First of all, people will not stop buying petrol even if its price is higher than before. Nowadays, almost every family in the city has at least one car. Cars become indispensable for human beings because life is truly conveniently with a car. In this case, although the price of gas is increasing, drivers who have to drive cars have no other choice but continue buying expensive petrol, so the demand for fuel would not decrease that much. That is to say, the pollutants are stilled discharged to air. Therefore, raising up fuel price helps little to improve air quality. Secondly, raising gas price will obstruct economic development. Since people do need fuel to drive their vehicle, the more expensive petrol will be a burden for them. As mentioned, the need for gas is not declining, so people have to pay more for daily transportation, which is definitely harmful to their interests. Before raising the price, people can use this money to buy some goods, travel on vacation or pay for education, but now they have no extra money to do these all kinds of things. Thus, it will cause a huge loss in the economic. In addition, there are many other ways to reduce air pollution effectively. For example, the government should invest money in discovering and researching clean energy which can be the substitute for fuel. People can use these energies, like wind energy, solar energy or water energy, to drive their cars. In this way, the mission of carbon dioxide and other harmful chemical compositions produced by burning petrol can decrease tremendously. On the other hand, air pollution can also be forestalled by protesting forest. Numerous trees are planted around Beijing as a protective screen to sands wind. In actual fact, it is useful. Therefore, air pollution problem can be solved gradually. In conclusion, raising gas price not only cannot solve pollution problem but also damage citizens’ interests. Keep in mind that there are other methods, like finding clean energy, to reduce air pollutants. Governments should not modulate a goods’ price without full consideration.
With winter approaching, every person living in Beijing city
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
wear a thick mask when they want to hang out. As we all know, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cities around the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
which have a severe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
like Beijing.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
should take action without any waiting.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
experts suggest that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
raise the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the emission of pollutants in order to solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. According to my perspective,
however
, it will not work out.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
even if its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
is higher than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. Nowadays, almost every family in the city has at least one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cars
become indispensable for human beings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
life is
truly
conveniently
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
.
In this case
, although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
is increasing, drivers who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
drive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
have no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
continue buying expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
would not decrease that much.
That is
to say, the pollutants
are stilled
discharged to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raising
up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
quality.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
will obstruct economic development. Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
to drive their vehicle, the more expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
will be a burden for them. As mentioned, the need for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
is not declining,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay more for daily transportation, which is definitely harmful to their interests.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raising
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, travel on vacation or pay for education,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they have no extra money to do these all kinds of things.
Thus
, it will cause a huge loss in the economic.

In addition
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
effectively
.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should invest money in discovering and researching clean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
which can be the substitute for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energies
, like wind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
, solar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
or water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
, to drive their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. In this way, the mission of carbon dioxide and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
harmful chemical compositions produced by burning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
can decrease
tremendously
. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
can
also
be forestalled
by protesting forest. Numerous trees
are planted
around Beijing as a protective screen to sands wind. In actual fact, it is useful.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
can
be solved
gradually
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
cannot solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
damage citizens’ interests.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Keep
in mind that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
methods, like finding clean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollutants.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
should not modulate a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
without full consideration.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
68Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay The best way to reduce air pollution is for the government to raise the cost of fuel (petrol). v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
431 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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