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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The best way to reduce air pollution is for the government to raise the cost of fuel? v.635

The best way to reduce air pollution is for the government to raise the cost of fuel? v. 635
Many people think increasing the cost of the fuel will not aid in reduction of air pollution, and it will raise their spending. Although i understand their point of view, I agree that, the best way to reduce air pollution is for the government to raise the cost of the fuel because the uses of the cars will produce many gases that affect the human health, and it will reduce the evaporation of the gas into the atmosphere by reducing traffic. First, increasing the cost of the fuel will lead the human healthier ad go greener. For example, my sister never walked to her work, which is 15 minute walking from our home. She is driving her car daily to her work. As a result, she gains a lot of weight, and the doctor tells her that she should walk one hour daily. On contrary, when the government decided to increase the cost of the fuel, many people will encourage to walk. Moreover walking is very good for people heath. It leads the blood circulate well in our body, and more oxygen will go to our lungs, so it has a good impact on our health. Next, it will reduce the evaporation of the gas into atmosphere. For example, using the cars daily will release a lot of the harmful gases to the environment. In addition many people will encourage to use their bikes, so less gases will go to the atmosphere. For example, in my country, the government decided to increase the cost of the fuel. at first, many people got upset. Then they used their bikes to go for shopping or their works, and many other shared their cars. In instance, me and my friends shared cars to go to our works. we were using carpools lines. As a result the air pollution was reduced in my country by reducing the number of cars used in the roads. To put everything in a nut shell, according to the reasons mentioned above, i believe that, the increasing price of the fuel will reduce the air pollution, and i encourage all the people to leave their car for a while and used another kind of transportation. Why not try to ride your bike and go to your work? i think when you try it you will never regret it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
will not aid in reduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
, and it will raise their spending. Although
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
understand their point of view, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that, the best way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to raise the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
will produce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
gases that affect the human health, and it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the evaporation of the gas into the atmosphere by reducing traffic.

First
, increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
will lead the human healthier ad go greener.
For example
, my sister never walked to her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, which is 15 minute walking from our home. She is driving her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
daily to her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
As a result
, she gains
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
weight, and the doctor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tells
her that she should walk one hour daily. On contrary, when the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
decided to increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will encourage
Did you mean "walking"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'encourage' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to walk
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
walking is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
heath. It leads the blood circulate well in our body, and more oxygen will go to our lungs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
impact on our health.

Next
, it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the evaporation of the gas into atmosphere.
For example
, using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
daily will release
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
the harmful gases to the environment. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will encourage to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their bikes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun gases is countable.
less
gases will go to the atmosphere.
For example
, in my country, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
decided to increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
at
first
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
upset. Then they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
their bikes to go for shopping or their works, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other shared their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. In instance, me and my friends shared
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
to go to our works.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we
were using carpools lines.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
in my country by reducing the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the roads.

To put everything in a nut shell, according to the reasons mentioned above,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe that, the increasing price of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
, and
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
encourage all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
for a while and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
another kind of transportation. Why not try to ride your bike and go to your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
?
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
when you try it you will never regret it.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS essay The best way to reduce air pollution is for the government to raise the cost of fuel? v. 635

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
389 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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