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People succeed because of their hard work, but some say it is something else that is significant for success. How far do you agree with this statement? Give some reasons from your personal knowledge or experience to support your stance? v.3

People succeed because of their hard work, but some say it is something else that is significant for success. How far Give some reasons from your personal knowledge or experience to support your stance? v. 3
One of the most controversial issue that circulates in the society is the degree of success an individual owns. There are people who believe that hard work is the root of all achievements however some people think there are other reasons behind it. Personally, I partially agree to the statement. In this essay, I am going to examine the question from my points of view and give example based on personal experience. It is generally acknowledged that possessing voluminous amount of wealth and properties depicts an elite status quo in the society. The pursuit of attaining traditional success is when people struggle to work hard because they perceive the fallacy by producing money. For myself, I slightly agree to this statement. Firstly, it is absolutely true that a person’s hard work results to accomplishments. A particularly good example for this is, having a two-story house located in an exclusive village with a luxury car is a dream to anyone. Secondly, it is also possible to say that success can be measured by a person’s happiness and fulfillment. Success is thrown away frequently in such varied context that we have forgotten the real meaning behind it. It is certain that these possessions could make an individual happy however, these are just things that eventually will be out of hand. Personally, having a good relationship with others and family to me is basically my foundation of success. It serves as my inspiration to work hard to achieve everything. In conclusion, the height of success cannot be measured by quantity. Happiness and fulfillment goes hand in hand towards attaining the true meaning of being successful.
One of the most controversial issue that circulates in the society is the degree of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
an individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owns
. There are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is the root of all achievements
however
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
there are other reasons behind it.
Personally
, I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to the statement. In this essay, I am going to examine the question from my points of view and give example based on personal experience.

It is
generally
acknowledged that possessing voluminous amount of wealth and properties depicts an elite status quo in the society. The pursuit of attaining traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
is when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
struggle to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they perceive the fallacy by producing money. For myself, I
slightly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to this statement.
Firstly
, it is
absolutely
true that a person’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
results to accomplishments. A
particularly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example for this is, having a two-story
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
located in an exclusive village with a luxury car is a dream to anyone.

Secondly
, it is
also
possible to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
can
be measured
by a person’s happiness and fulfillment.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Success
is thrown
away
frequently
in such varied context that we have forgotten the real meaning behind it. It is certain that these possessions could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an individual happy
however
, these are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
things that
eventually
will be out of hand.
Personally
, having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationship with others and family to me is
basically
my foundation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
. It serves as my inspiration to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
to achieve everything.

In conclusion
, the height of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
cannot
be measured
by quantity. Happiness and fulfillment goes hand in hand towards attaining the true meaning of being successful.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay People succeed because of their hard work, but some say it is something else that is significant for success. How far Give some reasons from your personal knowledge or experience to support your stance? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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