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The best way to increase students’ interest in a subject is to teach them the significance of this subject outside of school. v.1

The best way to increase students’ interest in a subject is to teach them the significance of this subject outside of school. v. 1
There is an issue about why many people take unhealthy way of life. In this essay, I will discuss reasons for it and suggest possible solutions. Let us start with the reasons why some people assume an unhealthy way of life. The first motive is that people are usually subjected to stress in many places. They develop unhealthy habits, such as smoking and drinking, because they often feel stressed by modern hectic lifestyle. Another motive is that they cannot buy healthy food. Many people eat a great deal of unhealthy meals, including fast food and junk food, since they basically cannot afford organic food, which contain vital nutritious and do not lead to obesity. Furthermore, people often have many unwanted friends. Many young people, for instance, develop a heavy addiction to drugs by making friends with criminals, so they put their health at risk in early ages. However, some social workers suggest the following actions to tackle these reasons. Firstly, people should do exercise. Stressed people should do the workout to relax from a stressful day at work instead, if they want to have a more sensible life. Secondly, they should buy crops from gardeners. People, who cannot afford costly groceries, should address to people owning farms, so that they can purchase the same crops, but at much lower prices than in the overpriced market. Moreover, youngsters should stop seeing unwelcome acquaintances. To protect their children from the usage of drugs, their parents should explain them what are the consequences of this detrimental addiction as well as convince them to leave these unwanted fellows. In conclusion, even though there is a set of reasons for developing unhealthy style of life, I think that it is possible to deal with them by assuming the above mentioned measures.
There is an issue about why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In this essay, I will discuss
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for it and suggest possible solutions.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
assume an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. The
first
motive is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
usually
subjected to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
places. They develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
habits, such as smoking and drinking,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
by modern hectic lifestyle. Another motive is that they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
eat a great deal of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
meals, including
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, since they
basically
cannot afford organic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, which contain vital nutritious and do not lead to obesity.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
unwanted friends.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
for instance
, develop a heavy addiction to drugs by making friends with criminals,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they put their health at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
in early ages.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
social workers suggest the following actions to tackle these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should do exercise.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Stressed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should do the workout to relax from a stressful day at work
instead
, if they want to have a more sensible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Secondly
, they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
crops from gardeners.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
, who cannot afford costly groceries, should address to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
owning farms,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the same crops,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at much lower prices than in the overpriced market.
Moreover
, youngsters should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
seeing unwelcome acquaintances. To protect their children from the usage of drugs, their parents should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
The verb 'to explain something to someone' requires a preposition.
them
what are the consequences of this detrimental addiction
as well
as convince them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
these unwanted fellows.

In conclusion
,
even though
there is a set of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
style of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is possible to deal with them by assuming the above mentioned measures.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The best way to increase students’ interest in a subject is to teach them the significance of this subject outside of school. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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