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Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity? v.13

Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity? v. 13
Trade is the only element, which helps drive the economy of any country if handle in a smarter manner. Some people believe that the business should be run within their own family for extreme leverage. In this essay, we will discuss both the pros and cons of this. One of the significant advantage to run a family businesses possess is that they would not have to face any communication barrier. This means they are always reachable to their family members outside of working hours. For instance, my uncle is running his own business with his siblings and often time they discuss their business related talk on the dinning table. Furthermore, As a family working together, they have leverage in terms of each ones personality and characteristics and utilize them accordingly for their benefit. As a result, they achieve maximise results, while, supporting and understanding. On the other side, Family running business has limited scope to the latest market trends, which could cause adverse effects on the company heritage. Because they are working closely with their families only, it is most likely that they would not be updated about the new market trends. For example, my same uncle faced the issues with the novel product upgrade was available in the market and he was not aware of that, which leads to the customer's discomfort and effected the business growth. Consequently, we could understand the disadvantage of having own family business. In conclusion, owning a family business has its own positives and negatives, Although, if handled properly, this can lead to better results.
Trade is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
element, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
drive the economy of any country if handle in a smarter manner.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
should
be run
within their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
for extreme leverage. In this essay, we will discuss both the pros and cons of this.

One of the significant advantage to run a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
possess is that they would not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face any communication barrier. This means they are always reachable to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
working hours.
For instance
, my uncle is running his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
with his siblings and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
time they discuss their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
related talk on the dinning table.
Furthermore
, As a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
working together, they have leverage in terms of each ones personality and characteristics and utilize them
accordingly
for their benefit.
As a result
, they achieve
Possible spelling mistake. 'maximise' is British English.
maximise
results, while, supporting and understanding.

On the other side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Family
running
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
has limited scope to the latest market trends, which could cause adverse effects on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
heritage.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they are working
closely
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
, it is most likely that they would not
be updated
about the new market trends.
For example
, my same uncle faced the issues with the novel product upgrade was available in the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
market and
he was not aware of that, which leads to the customer's discomfort and effected the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
growth.
Consequently
, we could understand the disadvantage of having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
business.

In conclusion
, owning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
positives and negatives, Although, if handled
properly
, this can lead to better results.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity? v. 13

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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