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The best way to deal with environmental problem is to increase the price of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

The best way to deal with environmental problem is to increase the price of fuel. v. 1
Becoming a better citizen of a country by imparting education is the fundamental role played by universities. Although some think it would be a negative development for male societies if they allow women to be part of every field, I, however, agree that it has a positive impact on the society as a whole if they treat girls and boys equally regardless of gender in two ways. Firstly, uplifting the house is the major concern for the women, which should be offered through universities by obtaining higher educations. If the women are educated in the family, she can teach her children the difference between the right and wrong things. Due to this, a child would be able to distinguish what is good and bad for them and also be well-mannered. She could be the teacher or the mentor at certain times if her child is facing any problems during their studies at any time, teachers, however, are not available all the times. It is well said that if one woman is educated in the single family, the whole nation will be educated. Eradicating discrimination is another area of concern which is a debatable issue in some countries. If girls and boys allowed to get education proportionately in each subject, which results discrimination being completely removed from the societies. Today in some areas both genders are treated equally as women have proven that they are better than men in the field of astronauts, namely Kalpana Chawla and Sunita Williams. They have shown to the world that the girls are ahead than the boys regardless of any field. In conclusion, not only an equal number of both genders can sunshine the society as a whole, but it helps eliminate the discrimination among them. Therefore, I believe both men and women should be accepted by the universities equally in each area.
Becoming a better citizen of a country by imparting education is the fundamental role played by universities. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it would be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development for male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
to be part of every field, I,
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
as a whole if they treat girls and boys
equally
regardless of gender in two ways.

Firstly
, uplifting the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
is the major concern for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, which should
be offered
through universities by obtaining higher educations. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are educated
in the family, she can teach her children the difference between the right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
things. Due to this, a child would be able to distinguish what is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for them and
also
be well-mannered. She could be the teacher or the mentor at certain times if her child is facing any problems during their studies at any time, teachers,
however
, are not available all the times. It is well said that if one woman
is educated
in the single family, the whole nation will
be educated
.

Eradicating discrimination is another area of concern which is a debatable issue in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries. If girls and boys
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
education
proportionately
in each subject, which results discrimination being completely removed from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas both genders
are treated
Use either "equally" or "as" on its own. When comparing two nouns, use "just as".
equally as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have proven that they are better than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
in the field of astronauts,
namely
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kalpana
Possible spelling mistake found.
Chawla
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sunita
Williams. They have shown to the world that the girls are
Use "(ahead)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
ahead
than the boys regardless of any field.

In conclusion
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
an equal number of both genders can sunshine the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
as a whole,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
eliminate the discrimination among them.
Therefore
, I believe both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
by the universities
equally
in each area.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay The best way to deal with environmental problem is to increase the price of fuel. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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