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The bar charts below show the number of hours each teacher spent teaching in different schools in four different countries in 2001. v.5

The bar charts below show the number of hours each teacher spent teaching in different schools in four different countries in 2001. v. 5
The bar chart illustrate number of hours spent by teacher in primary, lower Secondary And Higher Secondary School in Japan, Spain, Iceland and USA. overall teacher in US spent more hour in all level of school compare to other country' s teacher. Number of teaching hour is also increases with level of class in all countries. In USA, each teacher spent highest almost 1200 hour to teach upper secondary students while Japanese teacher spend only 700 hours to teach upper secondary pupils which is the lowest for in all countries. Instructor of Spain and Iceland also spent significant amount time(approximately 900 hours) to train upper secondary student. Primary and lower secondary school teacher of Japan and Iceland spent nearly 600 hours on schooling. This number is slightly higher for Spain, where a teacher spent almost 650 and 750 hours respectively. On other hand USA, a teacher of primary and lower secondary school spent 750 and 100 hours to teach student which is higher among all countries.
The bar chart illustrate number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
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spent
by
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teacher
in primary, lower
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Secondary
And Higher
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Secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
in Japan, Spain, Iceland and USA.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
overall
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teacher
in US
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spent
more
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hour
in all level of
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school
compare to other
Possible spelling mistake found.
country&
#039; s
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teacher
. Number of teaching
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hour
is
also
increases with level of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
in all countries.

A determiner is probably missing here: "In the USA".
In USA
, each
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teacher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
almost 1200
Possible agreement error. The noun 'hour' seems to be countable, so consider using: "hours".
hour
to teach upper
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secondary
students while Japanese
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teacher
spend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
700
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hours
to teach upper
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secondary
pupils which is the lowest for in all countries. Instructor of Spain and Iceland
also
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spent
significant amount time(approximately 900
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hours)
to train upper
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secondary
student.

Primary and lower
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secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
of Japan and Iceland
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
nearly
600
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
on schooling. This number is
slightly
higher for Spain, where a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
almost 650 and 750
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
respectively
. On other hand USA, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
of primary and lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
750 and 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
to teach student which is higher among all countries.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay The bar charts below show the number of hours each teacher spent teaching in different schools in four different countries in 2001. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
166 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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