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The bar chart shows components of GDP in the UK from 1992 to 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. v.1

The bar chart shows components of GDP in the UK from 1992 to 2000.
I agree, economic disparity is one of the common problems faced by developing nations, not only affecting the lives of the people, but also, hindering the overall economic development of a nation. In my essay, I would discuss the difficulties arising from this situation and the measures to be taken to address the same. Firstly, the society’s growing income gap has made quality education inaccessible to poor. Unable to afford the same, they are unprepared for well-paid jobs and resort to crimes to survive financially. Secondly, social inequality has resulted in high inflation in the nation. Overindulgence of the rich people, has overblown the cost of living, impelling their counterparts to live in inhuman conditions. For instance, the UN has in one of its reports stated that the world’s largest slum in Mumbai is a consequence of the region’s social inequality. Although these issues are critical, there are solutions to improve the situation. Primarily, the government should develop schemes and provide scholarships, which will help people from the deprived section to afford a quality education. This will give them a fair chance to compete with the affluent people. Similarly, an equitable taxation system should be adopted, wherein, people are taxed in accordance with their personal income. Application of these collections in schooling and health care of the needy, would narrow the income gap substantially. For instance, the additional cess charged for the luxury items by government, can be utilized to improve the living conditions of the needy. To conclude, it is evident that unequal distribution of wealth has given rise to many anomalies, however, if the government exercises enough political willpower, it is possible to solve these problems. Therefore, equal right to education and unbiased fiscal policy would achieve social parity in the nation.
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
, economic disparity is one of the common problems faced by developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
affecting the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
, hindering the
overall
economic development of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. In my essay, I would discuss the difficulties arising from this situation and the measures to
be taken
to address the same.

Firstly
, the society’s growing income gap has made quality education inaccessible to poor. Unable to afford the same, they
are unprepared
for well-paid jobs and resort to crimes to survive
financially
.
Secondly
, social inequality has resulted in high inflation in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. Overindulgence of the rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, has overblown the cost of living, impelling their counterparts to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in inhuman conditions.
For instance
, the UN has in one of its reports stated that the world’s largest slum in Mumbai is a consequence of the region’s social inequality.

Although these issues are critical, there are solutions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the situation.
Primarily
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should develop schemes and provide scholarships, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from the deprived section to afford a quality education. This will give them a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
chance to compete with the affluent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Similarly
, an equitable taxation system should
be adopted
, wherein,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are taxed
in accordance with their personal income. Application of these collections in schooling and health care of the needy, would narrow the income gap
substantially
.
For instance
, the additional
Possible spelling mistake found.
cess
charged for the luxury items by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, can
be utilized
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the living conditions of the needy.

To conclude
, it is evident that unequal distribution of wealth has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
rise to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
anomalies,
however
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
exercises
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
political willpower, it is possible to solve these problems.
Therefore
, equal right to education and unbiased fiscal policy would achieve social parity in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay The bar chart shows components of GDP in the UK from 1992 to 2000.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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