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The chart shows components of GDP in the UK from 1992 to 2000 Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant Write at least 150 words v.1

The chart shows components of GDP in the UK from 1992 to 2000
Nowadays we are living in a society based on consuming. In many developed nations, shopping is not only about buying the everyday things we need to survive but is also seen as a form of amusement. Some people hold the opinion that consumerism to relax is a positive trend, whereas, others have conflicting views. I personally feel that this is a negative development as people indulge in impulsive shopping after getting swayed by commercials or window displays to impress others. The main reason people buy items they do not really need is because of the influence marketing campaigns have on them. We are constantly bombarded with messages telling us that if we buy a certain product we will be happier, more beautiful or more complete. In many ways, these companies trick us into buying their products, however, spending money and time on things we barely need has no real value. For example, one of my mates bought an expensive bag after being tempted by a catchy discount offer using credit cards which she really does not need. The result such stuff usually ends up being scarcely used. In addition, shopping should be for fulfilling our necessity, not for our personal pleasure. A lot of us buy useless stuff to impress people. However, This is a sheer waste of precious money. Instead of splurging on items we do not require, the money can be well utilized by investing in savings Purchasing things that we do not need is a habit that makes imprudent. For instance, most of my friends who spend their weekends’ shopping have nothing else to talk about, other than their purchases, whereas my friends who use their time more wisely are often much more interesting and successful people. In conclusion, shopping and entertainment is not a good trend because instead of buying things which hardly need to impress others or owing to the influence of advertisements we should invest our time and money in more productive activities and investment plans.
Nowadays we are living in a society based on consuming. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
developed nations,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about buying the everyday things we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to survive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as a form of amusement.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold the opinion that consumerism to relax is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend, whereas, others have conflicting views. I
personally
feel that this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
indulge in impulsive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
after getting swayed by commercials or window displays to impress others.

The main reason
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
items they do not
really
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the influence marketing campaigns have on them. We are
constantly
bombarded with messages telling us that if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a certain product we will be happier, more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
or more complete. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
trick us into buying their products,
however
, spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and time on things we
barely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
has no real value.
For example
, one of my mates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
an expensive bag after
being tempted
by a catchy discount offer using credit cards which she
really
does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
. The result such stuff
usually
ends up being
scarcely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.

In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
should be for fulfilling our necessity, not for our personal pleasure.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
useless stuff to impress
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, This is a sheer waste of precious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Instead
of splurging on items we do not require, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can be well utilized by investing in savings Purchasing things that we do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
is a habit that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
imprudent.
For instance
, most of my friends who spend their weekends’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
have nothing else to talk about, other than their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
, whereas my friends who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their time more
wisely
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
much more interesting and successful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
and entertainment is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
trend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
instead
of buying things which hardly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to impress others or owing to the influence of advertisements we should invest our time and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in more productive activities and investment plans.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The chart shows components of GDP in the UK from 1992 to 2000

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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