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The bar chart compares the amount of oil produced by six countries through 20 - year period. v.1

The bar chart compares the amount of oil produced by six countries through 20 - year period. v. 1
Cars were first introduced as early as 1888. By the end of the millennium, usage of cars has spiked by almost 29 million. It is argued that other methods of transportation should be used and laws should be implemented worldwide to reduce the number of cars that are being owned and driven. This essay agrees that other forms of transport must be encouraged to bring down traffic and reduce air pollution. Over usage and production of automobiles in many countries have led to heavy traffic. Most of the developing countries do not have the infrastructure to accommodate a large number of vehicles that are being driven on roads. This causes congestion and because of this, people are often late to work. For example, Mumbai has witnessed a 56% increase in traffic jams over the last three years, exactly after the latest model of Honda City was launched. The model was estimated to make nearly $80 million in sales, in just Mumbai alone. Vehicles emit large amounts of carbon dioxide, which causes air pollution. This impacts both human as well as animal life and vast amounts of air pollution can impose serious health risks such as lung and respiratory diseases. Increased use of cars in many cities has been known to worsen air quality. To illustrate, Delhi has been in the news lately for poor air quality due to the high amount of carbon emissions from cars and buses. In conclusion, international laws should definitely be enforced all over the world and alternative transport methods must be used in order to cut down traffic and to reduce the harmful effects that cars have on the environment.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cars
were
first
introduced as early as 1888. By the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the millennium, usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
has spiked by almost 29 million. It
is argued
that other methods of transportation should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
and laws should
be implemented
worldwide to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
that are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
and driven. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that other forms of transport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be encouraged
to bring down
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution.

Over usage and production of automobiles in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries have led to heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
. Most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
do not have the infrastructure to accommodate
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
vehicles that are
being driven
on roads. This causes congestion and
because of this
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
late to work.
For example
, Mumbai has witnessed a 56% increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams over the last three years, exactly after the latest model of Honda City
was launched
. The model
was estimated
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
nearly
$80 million in sales, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
Mumbai alone.

Vehicles emit large amounts of carbon dioxide, which causes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution. This impacts both human
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
animal life and vast amounts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution can impose serious health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
such as lung and respiratory diseases. Increased
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cities has
been known
to worsen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
quality. To illustrate, Delhi has been in the news lately for poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
quality due to the high amount of carbon emissions from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
and buses.

In conclusion
, international laws should definitely
be enforced
all over the world and alternative transport methods
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the harmful effects that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
have on the environment.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The bar chart compares the amount of oil produced by six countries through 20 - year period. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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