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The bar chart below shows the proportions of English men and women of different ages who were living alone in 2011. The pie chart compares the numbers of bedrooms in these one-person households. v.1

The bar chart below shows the proportions of English men and women of different ages who were living alone in 2011. The pie chart compares the numbers of bedrooms in these one-person households. v. 1
There is no doubt that primary facilities like educational institutes and hospitals are necessary. Although, some people believe that newly graduates should have no restriction to choose their workplace, I would argue that with own willingness they should give service for a few years in rural areas. On one hand, those who advocate to have the liberty of choosing own place of endeavour may argue that new teachers and doctors cannot be enforced to take a job in any uncomfortable environment. This is because newly graduates require agreeable workspace to gain knowledge and confidence in their profession. For example, working in an uncomfortable atmosphere without comply could be dangerous and might create more harm than good. In contrast, if they make themselves comfortable in a countryside work area, it would give them the sense of giving back to society and happiness by aiding others. On the other hand, my view is that helping underprivileged people is a paramount element of humanity. In villages, primary facilities like education and medical is highly affordable and by creating the willingness to work there, teachers and doctors can get the experience they require as well. Moreover, the government should start an initiation project to create enthusiasm in new doctors and professors. For instance, providing adequate housing facilities and giving them better remuneration can attract those professionals who are willing to work in rural areas. If, such steps are not taken into consideration, it will keep having inequality and injustice for primary necessities. However, without such steps it could lead the country for unstable society and economic instability. In conclusion, despite the free will for working anywhere new teachers and doctors please, it is my firm belief that helping deprived people is an act of humanity and administration should spread cognizance for betterment of society and the region.
There is no doubt that primary facilities like educational institutes and hospitals are necessary. Although,
some
people
believe that
newly
graduates should have no restriction to choose their workplace, I would argue that with
own
willingness they should give service for a few years in rural areas.

On one hand, those who advocate to have the liberty of choosing
own
place of
endeavour
may argue that new teachers and
doctors
cannot
be enforced
to take a job in any uncomfortable environment. This is
because
newly
graduates require agreeable workspace to gain knowledge and confidence in their profession.
For example
, working in an uncomfortable atmosphere without comply could be
dangerous
and might create more harm than
good
.
In contrast
, if they
make
themselves comfortable in a countryside work area, it would give them the sense of giving back to society and happiness by aiding others.

On the other hand
, my view is that helping underprivileged
people
is
a paramount element of humanity. In villages, primary facilities like education and medical is
highly
affordable and by creating the willingness to work there, teachers and
doctors
can
get
the experience they require
as well
.
Moreover
, the
government
should
start
an initiation project to create enthusiasm in new
doctors
and professors.
For instance
, providing adequate housing facilities and giving them better remuneration can attract those professionals who are willing to work in rural areas. If, such steps are not taken into consideration, it will
keep
having inequality and injustice for primary necessities.
However
, without such steps it could lead the country for unstable society and economic instability.

In conclusion
, despite the free will for working anywhere new teachers and
doctors
please
, it is my firm belief that helping deprived
people
is
an act of humanity and administration should spread cognizance for betterment of society and the region.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The bar chart below shows the proportions of English men and women of different ages who were living alone in 2011. The pie chart compares the numbers of bedrooms in these one-person households. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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