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The bar chart below shows the number of students in three different courses from 2001-2004. Identify the main trends and summarize the data v.1

The bar chart below shows the number of students in three different courses from 2001-2004. Identify the main trends and
Reading online on computers and traditional method of reading printed books for a child, which one to choose is always debatable. Most of them think that articles or materials which we get on the internet is the best method of reading, whereas others think that by buying a copy and learn to read would be the best style. This essay is going to discuss on the both ways of reading as well, going to provide with the opinion of the best process of reading for children. Displaying information online is one of most convincing ways of making kids to concentrate on reading. Because children usually likes or get attracted towards visual material, which are displayed on a screen. While online material also helps children not to carry heavy bags and books on their shoulders, which is one of the major concerns of the parents. Recent Harvard studies show that 70% of the kids are showing interest reading information on a computer. Provided that online reading is the most convenient and interesting fashion of reading in this generation for kids. In conversely, reading, through a newspaper or a book is the best and the most usual process of reading for children. Since the systematic and traditional manner of reading followed from ages through a scripted material or a written script. Whereas it is also a more convenient form of reading and you can carry the material where ever you want. As per the parents' survey done by Oxford University in the year 2019 says that, 50% parents like their children to stick with traditional and usual system of reading through material which, they think it’s the right means of reading a publication. Few things wouldn’t be changing through technology as the traditional approach outweigh the new approach of reading. In the above, I have discussed about the traditional way and online manner of reading information from kids. I particularly feel that reading through the traditional way of printed material is the most convincing method, I have come to this conclusion because of reading continuously online material could affect children's eyes but also ranging up with advanced methods is always inevitable.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
on computers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
printed books for a child, which one to choose is always debatable. Most of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that articles or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
which we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
on the internet is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
, whereas others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that by buying a copy and learn to read would be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
style. This essay is going to discuss on the both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
as well
, going to provide with the opinion of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
process of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
for children.

Displaying information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is one of most convincing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of making kids to concentrate on reading.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
usually
likes or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
attracted towards visual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
, which
are displayed
on a screen. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
not to carry heavy bags and books on their shoulders, which is one of the major concerns of the parents. Recent Harvard studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that 70% of the kids are showing interest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
information on a computer. Provided that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
is the most convenient and interesting fashion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
in this generation for kids.

In
conversely
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
a newspaper or a book is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
and the most usual process of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Since the systematic and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
manner of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
followed from ages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
a scripted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
or a written script. Whereas it is
also
a more convenient form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
and you can carry the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
where ever you want. As per the parents' survey done by Oxford University in the year 2019 says that, 50% parents like their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to stick with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
and usual system of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
which, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it’s the right means of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
a publication. Few things wouldn’t be changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
technology as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
approach outweigh the new approach of reading.

In the above, I have
Did you mean simply "discussed the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discussed about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
manner of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
information from kids. I
particularly
feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
of printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
is the most convincing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
, I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to this conclusion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
continuously
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
could affect children's eyes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
ranging up with advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
is always inevitable.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay The bar chart below shows the number of students in three different courses from 2001-2004. Identify the main trends and

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
359 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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