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Many people visit museums when they travel to new places. Why do you thinkpeople visit museums? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v.3

Many people visit museums when they travel to new places. Why do you thinkpeople visit museums? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v. 3
Stepping into the 21st century, more and more contemporary attention has been placed on the growing number of advertisements that can be seen anywhere. In my point of view, the advertising brings more positive effects than negative ones. Firstly, it is unquestionable that the vigorous growth of advertising as can be seen beneficial for consumers. Certainly, advertising provides details to launch new products, which is important for users who are still unaware of such products. In addition, customers must always be wary of the prices of different stores, because such prices are exaggerated or untrue. In addition, the advertisements not only keep prices stable, but also sometimes have special offers. Supermarkets, for example, always carry huge in-store advertisements when they slash the prices of products and spend a good deal of money on publicity materials in order to approach views of customers, which not only helps them enhance their living standards but also avoids some misleading advertisements. Secondly, the advertising contributes to successful businesses as well as the growth of economy countries. Certainly, advertising keeps your business top of mind of users, so it easily approaches many consumers to their products. In addition, with viral businesses who based on the viral advertisements to figure out enemy weakness, which helps them quickly competes with other businesses. To be more specific, advertising motivates consumers to buy goods impulsively, which helps them increase profits substantially. Take myself as an example, I am always easily swayed by advertisements from Shopee which has many special offers for a variety of products, and then sometimes I get sucked into shopping that ran out my money. In conclusion, based on the explanations mentioned above, advertising has beneficial effects on consumers as well as economy countries.
Stepping into the 21st century, more and more contemporary attention has
been placed
on the growing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
anywhere. In my point of view, the advertising brings more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
ones.

Firstly
, it is unquestionable that the vigorous growth of advertising as can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
.
Certainly
, advertising provides
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
to launch new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for users who are
still
unaware of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
In addition
, customers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
always be wary of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
stores,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
are exaggerated
or untrue.
In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
stable,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
have special offers. Supermarkets,
for example
, always carry huge in-store
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
when they slash the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and spend a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
deal of money on publicity materials in order to approach views of customers, which not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them enhance their living standards
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
avoids
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
misleading advertisements.

Secondly
, the advertising contributes to successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
as well
as the growth of economy countries.
Certainly
, advertising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
top of mind of users,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it
easily
approaches
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
In addition
, with viral
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
who based on the viral
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
to figure out enemy weakness, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them
quickly
competes with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
. To be more specific, advertising motivates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
impulsively
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them increase profits
substantially
. Take myself as an example, I am always
easily
swayed by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
Shopee
which has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
special offers for a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, and then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sucked into shopping that ran out my money.

In conclusion
, based on the explanations mentioned above, advertising has beneficial effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
as well
as economy countries.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay Many people visit museums when they travel to new places. Why do you thinkpeople visit museums? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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