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The bar chart below illustrates the use of tobacco products by secondary school students in the United States. v.1

The bar chart below illustrates the use of tobacco products by secondary school students in the United States. v. 1
Language is considered as one of the primary pillar for communication and every nation in this world has its own language. It has been observed that some individuals prefer to use online translation apps to communicate with native speakers of that certain country. I believe that advantages such as reliability and easiness to use these apps certainly outweigh the drawbacks it might have. Admittedly, one of the major demerit of using online translation software apps is that many masses have become addicted to these software’s that they have stopped learning and exploring new languages. Furthermore, they are just relying on the software translations in order to communicate with native speakers. As a result, learning is stopped and the real usage and understanding of language is ignored. Nevertheless, despite of above mentioned drawback, the predominant advantage offered by using online translation software’s is reliability. To put it plainly, masses can easily rely on these online apps when talking with native speakers. Moreover, these apps are easy and handy to use. It can be easily downloaded on any media devices and its function is just to simply translate words from one language to other output language with is being selected. As a result, conversation between native and non native speaker goes smooth without any hindrance and language understanding problems as these software’s facilitate both parties to understand each other. For instance, if a person has to travel many countries for shorter duration periods, then by simply using these apps, one can easily select language spoken in that particular nation and start communication without any hindrance. To conclude, although addiction to online apps have reduced learning which is the main downside of using online apps, I personally believe that the upsides of easier communication and reliability of online translation apps when compared with downsides are significantly greater.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Language
is considered
as one of the primary pillar for communication and every nation in this world has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
. It has
been observed
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
translation
apps to communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
native
speakers of that certain country. I believe that advantages such as reliability and easiness to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these apps
certainly
outweigh the drawbacks it might have.

Admittedly
, one of the major demerit of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
translation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
software
apps is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
masses have become addicted to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
software’s
that they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
learning and exploring new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
.
Furthermore
, they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
relying on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
software
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
translations
in order to communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
native
speakers.
As a result
, learning is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
and the real usage and understanding of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.

Nevertheless
,
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
above mentioned drawback, the predominant advantage offered by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
translation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
software’s
is reliability. To put it
plainly
, masses can
easily
rely on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
apps when talking with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
native
speakers.
Moreover
, these apps are easy and handy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. It can be
easily
downloaded on any media devices and its function is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to
simply
translate words from one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
to other output
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
with is
being selected
.
As a result
, conversation between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
native
and non
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
native
speaker goes smooth without any hindrance and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
understanding problems as these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
software’s
facilitate both parties to understand each other.
For instance
, if a person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
travel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries for shorter duration periods, then by
simply
using these apps, one can
easily
select
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
spoken in that particular nation and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
communication without any hindrance.

To conclude
, although addiction to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
apps have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
learning which is the main downside of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
apps, I
personally
believe that the upsides of easier communication and reliability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
translation
apps when compared with downsides are
significantly
greater.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The bar chart below illustrates the use of tobacco products by secondary school students in the United States. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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