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The average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness is decreasing. What do you think are the causes of this and suggest some remedies to solve the problem. v.1

The average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness is decreasing. What do you think are the causes of this and suggest some remedies to solve the problem. v. 1
With the increased consumption of fast foods, the problem of obesity has also increased at an alarming pace. With the cases only growing and not decreasing by the day, it has become a problem which at this point in time needs some addressing. There are certain factors which lead to obesity. Other than the aforementioned consumption of fast foods, the other major factors which causes this is the lack of exercise. Not a lot of us actually take the time out of our busy schedules to go for a jog or play some kind of sport. Another really big issue is that of the mindset. Myself included, procrastination is prevalent when things are within our range of control. It is not very healthy to stay at home and do nothing all day long. Obesity has some scary effects on our body. Obesity leads to type 2 diabetes, doubling the risk of death. High blood pressure, and increased chances of stroke are also regular symptoms. There are also certain respiratory disorders which can stem from being obese. Barring the problems, there are certain ways people can move towards a healthier lifestyle. The simplest one is to stay away from fast foods and have them occasionally rather than frequently. One proven way is to go on a calorie deficit. What it means is to consume lesser calories than burnt, which leads to weight loss. Exercising in the early mornings has proven to be more effective as exercise an empty stomach leads to effective usage of fat reserves. In conclusion, I would like to say that obesity might be a problem which will continue to remain for the years to come. It is not a disease which can be eradicated by a vaccine. It is something that a person has to really put in the effort and work towards to overcome it and actually lose weight. It is both a mental and a physical challenge, and I think the goal of reducing the cases of obesity will happen with a combined effort of individual goals put together.
With the increased consumption of
fast
foods, the
problem
of obesity has
also
increased at an alarming pace. With the cases
only
growing and not decreasing by the day, it has become a
problem
which at this point in time needs
some
addressing.

There are certain factors which
lead
to obesity. Other than the aforementioned consumption of
fast
foods, the other major factors which causes this is the lack of exercise. Not
a lot of
us actually take the time out of our busy schedules to go for a jog or play
some
kind of sport. Another
really
big
issue is that of the mindset. Myself included, procrastination is prevalent when things are within our range of control. It is not
very
healthy to stay at home and do nothing all day long.

Obesity has
some
scary effects on our body. Obesity leads to type 2 diabetes, doubling the
risk
of death. High blood pressure, and increased chances of stroke are
also
regular symptoms. There are
also
certain respiratory disorders which can stem from being obese. Barring the
problems
, there are certain ways
people
can
move
towards a healthier lifestyle. The simplest one is to stay away from
fast
foods and have them
occasionally
rather
than
frequently
. One proven way is to go on a calorie deficit. What it means is to consume lesser calories than burnt, which leads to weight loss. Exercising in the early mornings has proven to be more effective as exercise an empty stomach leads to effective usage of
fat
reserves.

In conclusion
, I would like to say that obesity might be a
problem
which will
continue to remain
for the years to
come
. It is not a disease which can
be eradicated
by a vaccine. It is something that a person
has to
really
put in the effort and work towards to overcome it and actually lose weight.
It
is both a mental and a physical challenge, and I
think
the goal of reducing the cases of obesity will happen with a combined effort of individual goals put together.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay The average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness is decreasing. What do you think are the causes of this and suggest some remedies to solve the problem. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
344 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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