Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement. Give reasons for your answer and indicate any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.25

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. with this statement. v. 25
In today's fast paced world, people are more focused on their work, instead of their fitness. It is argued that in the coming future the median health of the population is more likely to be further down as compare to the present times. I personally agree with the statement, and I am going to explain the possible reasons in the upcoming paragraphs. To begin with, due to modernization and internet, nowadays people are living a sedentary lifestyle. For instance, these days youngsters prefer to sit in front of their computers to play games instead of playing outdoor games like football or basketball, which is increasing the obesity rate among young children. Therefore, in future they will be more prone to the cardiovascular diseases. Furthermore, consuming fast food on a daily basis contribute to the decline of an individual's health. This is evident in youngsters, adults and old age people as well. For example, the availability of junk food chains all over the country make it very convenient for everyone to get access these foods and encourage them to consume them daily. In addition to this, somewhat internet plays a major role to influence people to eat food which are not good for the well-being of the humans. To sum up, I agree with the argument that the average well-being standard of an individual will decrease in the future. Whilst some are becoming aware of the health issues that are emerging at present, the growing consumption of fast foods and the constantly sitting at home and not performing any physical tasks will likely contribute to the decline of the average standard of fitness of many people in the coming years.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
paced world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more focused on their work,
instead
of their fitness. It
is argued
that in the coming future the median health of the population is more likely to be
further
down as compare to the present times. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement, and I am going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the possible reasons in the upcoming paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, due to modernization and internet, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are living a sedentary lifestyle.
For instance
, these days youngsters prefer to sit in front of their computers to play games
instead
of playing outdoor games like football or basketball, which is increasing the obesity rate among young children.
Therefore
, in future they will be more prone to the cardiovascular diseases.

Furthermore
, consuming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
on a daily basis contribute to the decline of an individual's health. This is evident in youngsters, adults and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as well
.
For example
, the availability of junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
chains all over the country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient for everyone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
access these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and encourage them to consume them daily.
In addition
to this, somewhat internet plays a major role to influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the well-being of the humans.

To sum up, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the argument that the average well-being standard of an individual will decrease in the future. Whilst
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are becoming aware of the health issues that are emerging at present, the growing consumption of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and the
constantly
sitting at home and not performing any physical tasks will likely contribute to the decline of the average standard of fitness of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the coming years.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. with this statement. v. 25

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts