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The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.15

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. with this statement? v. 15
It is suggested by many that standards of people's health will continue to deteriorate in the future. To a large extent I disagree with this statement with a myriad of reasons. My primal argument is that the developing medical and technological advancement will facilitate better fitness and prevent diseases. In the past, we are often troubled by plague or epidemics without efficient remedies, therefore shortening people's lifespan. However, with groundbreaking medical discoveries, various vaccines were developed to cure or even prevent sickness. Its positive effects are evident in the prolonged lifespan up to 85 years old or more in the recent decade. It is no doubt that with rapid technological development, scientists can gain profound understanding of human bodies and raise the health standards of people. Some argue that most city dwellers indulge in an unhealthy cosmopolitan lifestyle composed of physical inactivity or imbalanced diet, which eventually will consume their health. Indeed, in the past many were oblivious to health consequences, but the global lifestyle movements recent years showed otherwise. There had been multiple advocates on living a sustainable, healthy life, ranging from a vegan diet, gym or yoga, mindfulness, to name but a few. The change can be observed in the apparent shift in the market, where many consumers are starting to consider organic or vegan food over fast food. The increasing number of fitness centres and gym facilities also reflected the growing awareness on healthy behaviour. I believe this widespread trend will continue to promote better health among people. In conclusion, I believe medical advancements and the revolutionized lifestyle will enhance people's health. As long as we are conscious of our physical well-being, we will be able to lead better lives and the future ahead.
It
is suggested
by
many
that standards of
people
's
health
will continue to deteriorate in the future. To a large extent I disagree with this statement with a myriad of reasons.

My primal argument is that the developing medical and technological advancement will facilitate better fitness and
prevent
diseases. In the past, we are
often
troubled by plague or epidemics without efficient remedies,
therefore
shortening
people
's lifespan.
However
, with groundbreaking medical discoveries, various vaccines
were developed
to cure or even
prevent
sickness. Its
positive
effects are evident in the prolonged lifespan up to 85 years
old
or more in the recent decade. It is no doubt that with rapid technological development, scientists can gain profound understanding of human bodies and raise the
health
standards of
people
.

Some
argue that most city dwellers indulge in an unhealthy cosmopolitan lifestyle composed of physical inactivity or imbalanced diet, which
eventually
will consume their
health
.
Indeed
, in the past
many
were oblivious to
health
consequences,
but
the global lifestyle movements recent years
showed
otherwise
. There had been multiple advocates on living a sustainable, healthy life, ranging from a vegan diet, gym or yoga, mindfulness, to name
but
a few. The
change
can
be observed
in the apparent shift in the market, where
many
consumers are starting to consider organic or vegan food over
fast
food. The increasing number of fitness
centres
and gym facilities
also
reflected the growing awareness on healthy
behaviour
. I believe this widespread trend will continue to promote better
health
among
people
.

In conclusion
, I believe medical advancements and the revolutionized lifestyle will enhance
people
's
health
. As long as we are conscious of our physical well-being, we will be able to lead better
lives
and the future ahead.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. with this statement? v. 15

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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