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governments should spend money on railways rather thah roads. to what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.1

governments should spend money on railways rather thah roads. with this statement? v. 1
It’s argued that governments should increase their expenditure on building railways more than its expenses on making new roads. This essay agrees with this statement because trains will help to decrease pollution and global warming in addition to help people who don’t have cars and on a low budget to move freely around the country. Governments which allow spending money on the railways will increase the healthy water for its population. Moreover decreasing the carbon dioxide that comes from the car exhaust will help in reducing the global warming. It is therefore led to surrounding environment with fresher air, So pollution will be significantly declined. A recent study concluded that people who live in Europe are less exposed to pollution and diseases that come from it on average 50 % compared to people who live in the Middle East. Countries that boost strong connected railway networks allow their inhabitance and tourists to get around their states smoothly. People who cannot afford to have a vehicle can reach everywhere in an easier way, which will raise tourism and income of that place, that subsequently can be used in production. As well as job vacancies will be more available for professions on the shortage list because people won’t only focus on the city centre. Recent research found that societies that offer allot of train ways facilities have less unemployment compared to others that don’t have. In conclusion, communities should give more money to railways stations not only they will be able to be more developed and richer but also maximizing their aspects of income and lower the risk of disease incidence especially the respiratory ones for their nation.
It’s argued that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should increase their expenditure on building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
more than its expenses on making new roads. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
trains will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to decrease pollution and global warming
in addition
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
don’t have cars and on a low budget to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
freely
around the country.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
spending money on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
will increase the healthy water for its population.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
decreasing the carbon dioxide that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from the car exhaust will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in reducing the global warming. It is
therefore
led to surrounding environment with fresher air,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
pollution will be
significantly
declined. A recent study concluded that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in Europe are less exposed to pollution and diseases that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from it on average 50 % compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the Middle East.

Countries that boost strong connected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
networks
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their
Possible spelling mistake found.
inhabitance
and tourists to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
around their states
smoothly
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
cannot afford to have a vehicle can reach everywhere in an easier way, which will raise tourism and income of that place, that
subsequently
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in production.

As well
as job vacancies will be more available for professions on the shortage list
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
won’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focus on the city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
. Recent research found that societies that offer
Did you mean "a lot of" (=plenty)?
allot of
train ways facilities have less unemployment compared to others that don’t have.

In conclusion
, communities should give more money to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
stations not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
they will be able to be more developed and richer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
maximizing their aspects of income and lower the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of disease incidence
especially
the respiratory ones for their nation.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay governments should spend money on railways rather thah roads. with this statement? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
276 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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