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The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.14

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. with this statement? v. 14
It is argued by some that human health standards are predicted to decline in the future as compared to the present era. I disagree with the statement as improving health facilities and public awareness will play an integral role in improving health standards in the times to come. Firstly, enhancing health facilities will play a pivotal role in improving the health parameters of the population in the future as compared to the present situation. It is due to rapidly progressing health sciences, providing new diagnostic and treatment modalities, which will ultimately improve the healthfulness of the population. For example, there is an enormous improvement in the management of brain stroke patients and, likely, they will not remain bed-bound due to improved treatment. Thus, people with various debilitating diseases of today's world are likely to have grossly improved standard of a healthy life as compared to now. Secondly, better public awareness about fitness issues will also improve well being of a society. People will have various available resources to improve their knowledge and insight into health-related issues. Various gadgets are being developed to monitor heart rate, calories burned and duration of active hours, thus, allowing an individual to monitor various health-related parameters daily. It will enable people to alter their activities in a healthy direction and will facilitate in achieving better health standard in the future. To conclude, it is evident that future health standards of the human population are likely to improve as compared to the present, owing to progressing medical facilities and improving public awareness about the health parameters.
It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standards
are predicted
to decline in the future as compared to the present era. I disagree with the statement as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
facilities and public awareness will play an integral role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standards
in the times to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
.

Firstly
, enhancing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
facilities will play a pivotal role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improving
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
parameters of the population in the future as compared to the present situation. It is due to
rapidly
progressing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
sciences, providing new diagnostic and treatment modalities, which will
ultimately
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
the healthfulness of the population.
For example
, there is an enormous improvement in the management of brain stroke patients and, likely, they will not remain bed-bound due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
treatment.
Thus
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
debilitating diseases of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world are likely to have
grossly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standard
of a healthy life as compared to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

Secondly
, better public awareness about fitness issues will
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
of a society.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
will have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
available resources to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
their knowledge and insight into health-related issues.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Various
gadgets are
being developed
to monitor heart rate, calories burned and duration of active hours,
thus
, allowing an individual to monitor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
health-related parameters daily. It will enable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to alter their activities in a healthy direction and will facilitate in achieving better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standard
in the future.

To conclude
, it is evident that future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standards
of the human population are likely to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
as compared to the present, owing to progressing medical facilities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improving
public awareness about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
parameters.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. with this statement? v. 14

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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