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In some countries it is now illegal to reject someone applying for a job because of his or her age. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v.5

In some countries it is now illegal to reject someone applying for a job because of his or her age. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 5
Age is the matter of mind, if you do not mind it doesn't matter, so aging would never become a hindrance in the completion of successful job nevertheless it is a physical one. I agree to consider this as an illegal act, infact i believe it to be a positive development as only it not gives a chance to more people to showcase their talent but also provide an opportunity to grow in different fields of life irrespective of their age. This essay will explore how these important factors will potentiate my stance. As a matter of fact, most people are not aware of their real talent in an early age. They come to know about their potentials after exposure to certain factors like better educational facilities and enriched environment. If they are not allowed to do jobs at a later stage in life, just because of their age, that would be a great injustice or a cruelty in fact. For example, CEO of Apple Company was fifty years of age when hired, and he is doing wonders for his company. Moreover, if there was an age barrier, he wouldn't be able to get this job. Thus, it is self explanatory not to consider age as a hindrance in a way of success. It is a truth universally acknowledged that age ripens the mind, hence making a person more creative and opens new avenues of opportunities in later life. This action of rejecting a notion of an age limit to be considered an eligible for certain jobs, gives hope among those who don't get opportunities in their earlier life because of their poor economic condition or any other misfortune. For instance, a friend of mine was not able to get job in a reputed institution just because of an exceeding age limit, though he was an ambitious and legit enough for the job. Therefore, it is discouraging for people if they are refrained from job just because of their age. In conclusion, overall it is a positive development to consider age restriction as an illegal act in most of the jobs. This will encourage all kind of people to remain constantly active and take part in country's progress with full zeal and zest. It would give them an ample amount of time to use their potentials.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Age
is the matter of mind, if you do not mind it doesn't matter,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
aging would never become a hindrance in the completion of successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
nevertheless
it is a physical one. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to consider this as an illegal act,
Possible spelling mistake found.
infact
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe it to be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
it not gives a chance to more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to showcase their talent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
provide an opportunity to grow in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
irrespective of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. This essay will explore how these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors will potentiate my stance.

As a matter of fact, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not aware of their real talent in an early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to know about their potentials after exposure to certain factors like better educational facilities and enriched environment. If they are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
at a later stage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, that would be a great injustice or a cruelty in fact.
For example
, CEO of Apple
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Company
was fifty years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
when hired, and he is doing wonders for his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
Moreover
, if there was an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
barrier, he wouldn't be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Thus
, it is
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self explanatory
not to consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
as a hindrance in a way of success.

It is a truth
universally
acknowledged that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
ripens the mind,
hence
making a person more creative and opens new avenues of opportunities in later
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. This action of rejecting a notion of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
limit to
be considered
an eligible for certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, gives hope among those who don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
opportunities in their earlier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their poor economic condition or any other misfortune.
For instance
, a friend of mine was not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in a reputed institution
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of an exceeding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
limit, though he was an ambitious and legit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Therefore
, it is discouraging for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
if they
are refrained
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their age.

In conclusion
,
overall
it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development to consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
restriction as an illegal act in most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. This will encourage all kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to remain
constantly
active and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in country's progress with full zeal and zest. It would give them an ample amount of time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their potentials.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay In some countries it is now illegal to reject someone applying for a job because of his or her age. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
386 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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