Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific details and examples to support your answer. Students should choose a university that prepares them for high paying careers. v.496

Use specific details and examples to support your answer. Students should choose a university that prepares them for high paying careers. v. 496
It is commonly agreed and accepted by the society that professional path or career is a very important part of our lives as adults. Some people believe that an education which prepares the individual for a high paid career is more valuable than an education that offers the possibility of just low paid jobs. In my opinion, it is not important for an individual to choose a university which prepares himself for high paid jobs for few reasons. First, it is more important to be educated in a field that the person does have at least a little passion for. I sustain this because the time spent daily at work is considerable and the person should enjoy what he or she is doing. For example, my friend from childhood pursued a lawyer career even though she was very shy and didn’t like to speak in public. She had in her mind just the big money that lawyers earn. After five years of hard studying in law school she reached the conclusion that a presumable high paid job will not compensate for the time and struggles encountered on a daily bases. Second, it is known that money are not a motivational factor. All the social studies about the career satisfaction demonstrate that money play a small role in how much one is satisfied or content with his or her professional life. After the “big salary” euphoria is gone most of the people are unhappy at work if they do not enjoy what they are doing. For example, after I finished my studies in pharmaceutical sciences I was offered a job by a multinational pharmaceutical company as a supervisor in a big factory. At the beginning I was very excited about the salary even though the job was not very challenging. After few months I started to feel that I waste my time and my knowledge so I decided to look for another job where I would be able use my knowledge and apply what I have studied for. Third, in my believes, if the person is good at what she or he is doing, doesn’t matter if the jobs on that field are low paid because he or she will make money based on their skills and talents. For example, if we speak generally, medical doctor profession is considered one of the best paid jobs. But are all the doctors paid very well? I don’t think so. Just the good doctors who invested passion and hard work are recognized and high paid. This simple fact is applicable for any other profession from the job market. By way of conclusion, taking in considerations the reasons explored above I am of the opinion that the students should choose their university based on their aspirations, talent and passion.
It is
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
by the society that professional path or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
as adults.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that an education which prepares the individual for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
is more valuable than an education that offers the possibility of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. In my opinion, it is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for an individual to choose a university which prepares himself for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
for few reasons.

First
, it is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
be educated
in a field that the person does have at least a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
passion for. I sustain this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the time spent daily at work is considerable and the person should enjoy what he or she is doing.
For example
, my friend from childhood pursued a lawyer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
even though
she was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
shy and didn’t like to speak in public. She had in her mind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
that lawyers earn. After five years of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
studying in law school she reached the conclusion that a presumable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
will not compensate for the time and struggles encountered on a daily bases.

Second, it
is known
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
are not a motivational factor. All the social studies about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
satisfaction demonstrate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
play a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
role in how much one
is satisfied
or content with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
professional life. After the “
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
salary” euphoria
is gone
most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are unhappy at work if they do not enjoy what they are doing.
For example
, after I finished my studies in pharmaceutical sciences I
was offered
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
by a multinational pharmaceutical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
as a supervisor in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
factory. At the beginning I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
excited about the salary
even though
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
was not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
challenging. After few months I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to feel that I waste my time and my knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I decided to look for another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
where I would be able
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
my knowledge and apply what I have studied for.

Third, in my
Did you mean "beliefs" (noun) instead of believes (verb)?
believes
, if the person is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at what she or he is doing, doesn’t matter if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
on that field are low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he or she will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
based on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and talents.
For example
, if we speak
generally
, medical doctor profession
is considered
one of the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
are all the doctors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well? I don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
doctors who invested passion and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work
are recognized
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
. This simple fact is applicable for any other profession from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market.

By way of conclusion, taking in considerations the reasons explored above I am of the opinion that the students should choose their university based on their aspirations, talent and passion.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Use specific details and examples to support your answer. Students should choose a university that prepares them for high paying careers. v. 496

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
464 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts