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Thanks to developments in technology, many people today have lost basic skills such as how to repair clothes, etc. Why is this happening? Do you think that this is a negative development? v.1

Thanks to developments in technology, many people today have lost basic skills such as how to repair clothes, etc. Why is this happening? Do you think that this is a negative development? v. 1
Skills define people's identity and capabilities. Unfortunately, a lot of people in this-day-and-age have lost simple abilities like, repairing attires or mending shoes. It can be attributed to the advancements made in the digital field. And, in my view, this is a huge drawback as it is turning people dependent, as well as making them lethargic. To begin with, people in the modern world have a tendency to do and expect things quick, owing to the fast-moving world. For example, city dwellers often approach a cobbler to mend or polish their shoes, or visit the parlour for a haircut. That means, the minutest of things is being done with the support of others and not by self. Clearly, people are loosing self-dependency. Moreover, for many, technology is their "life-saver" - they believe anything can be achieved with its support. For instance, in the early days people were capable of accurately predicting time; hence punctuality and discipline were crucial to them. That in turn helped them remain active and healthy throughout their lives. Unlike in the present day, many tend to wake up only by an alarm clock and cannot predict the time without their watches, converting people into torpid individuals. Thus, people are not only loosing a lot of mastery by turning high-tech, but being adversely impacted. To conclude, there is truth in the fact that technological development is converting people as dependants and sluggish, whereby making them lose their basic abilities. Hence, I believe it is detrimentally affecting many.
Skills
define
people
's identity and capabilities. Unfortunately,
a lot of
people
in this-day-and-age have lost simple abilities like, repairing attires or mending shoes. It can
be attributed
to the advancements made in the digital field. And, in my view, this is a huge drawback as it is turning
people
dependent,
as well
as making them lethargic.

To
begin
with,
people
in the modern world have a tendency to do and
expect
things quick, owing to the
fast
-moving world.
For example
, city dwellers
often
approach a cobbler to mend or polish their shoes, or visit the
parlour
for a haircut. That means, the minutest of things is
being done
with the support of others and not by self.
Clearly
,
people
are loosing self-dependency.

Moreover
, for
many
, technology is their
"
life-saver
"
-
they believe anything can
be achieved
with its support.
For instance
, in the early days
people
were capable of
accurately
predicting time;
hence
punctuality and discipline were crucial to them. That in turn
helped
them remain active and healthy throughout their
lives
. Unlike in the present day,
many
tend to wake up
only
by an alarm clock and cannot predict the time without their
watches
, converting
people
into torpid individuals.
Thus
,
people
are not
only
loosing
a lot of
mastery by turning high-tech,
but
being
adversely
impacted.

To conclude
, there is truth in the fact that technological development is converting
people
as
dependants
and sluggish, whereby making them lose their basic abilities.
Hence
, I believe it is
detrimentally
affecting
many
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Thanks to developments in technology, many people today have lost basic skills such as how to repair clothes, etc. Why is this happening? Do you think that this is a negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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