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Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. v. 21

People argue that tourism creates tension between regions rather than assisting individuals to learn other traditions. I completely disagree with this statement because tourists visit a country with a primary purpose, furthermore, it is a voluntary decision for visitors to learn about other cultures. In addition, tourism is one of the principal strategies that governments earn revenue. Firstly, travellers have a plan of a couple of things to get involved with while visiting a specific country. This is because the list enables them to visit all the desired areas, however, some of them might be interested in learning the cultures of other communities. For example, individuals visit Masai Mara, Kenya for game drives to watch big five animals as well as experience the Masai customs. Thus, people participate in various activities while touring. Additionally, the site of attraction attracts different tourists globally. Moreover, these areas are owned by the government, being part of the main means of earning revenue. This is because tourists pay an entrance fee before accessing these areas. For instance, Kenya has many tourist destinations such as Fort Jesus, National museums, National parks, the Arboretum, and archives, before entering into these areas an individual pays an entry fee. Because of this, the government is capable of improving the social amenities as well as uniting different countries. To conclude, I do not agree with the statement that tourism results in pressure and the government should enlighten tourists about other cultures. I believe that learning other communities' civilization is voluntary besides individuals visiting other countries have a to-do list to illustrate, maybe a visit to Masai Mara in Kenya. Also, the government earns revenue through the entry fees charged before accessing any site of attraction.

IELTS essay Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.21

People
argue that tourism creates tension between regions
rather
than assisting individuals to learn other traditions. I completely disagree with this statement
because
tourists visit a country with a primary purpose,
furthermore
, it is a voluntary decision for visitors to learn about other cultures.
In addition
, tourism is one of the principal strategies that
governments
earn revenue.
Firstly
,
travellers
have a plan of a couple of things to
get
involved with while visiting a specific country. This is
because
the list enables them to visit all the desired areas,
however
,
some
of them might
be interested
in learning the cultures of other communities.
For example
, individuals visit Masai Mara, Kenya for game drives to
watch
big
five animals
as well
as experience the Masai customs.
Thus
,
people
participate in various activities while touring.
Additionally
, the site of attraction attracts
different
tourists globally.
Moreover
, these areas are
owned
by the
government
, being part of the main means of earning revenue. This is
because
tourists pay an entrance fee
before
accessing these areas.
For instance
, Kenya has
many
tourist destinations such as Fort Jesus, National museums, National parks, the Arboretum, and archives,
before
entering into these areas an individual pays an entry fee.
Because of this
, the
government
is capable of improving the social amenities
as well
as uniting
different
countries.
To conclude
, I do not
agree
with the statement that tourism results in pressure and the
government
should enlighten tourists about other cultures. I believe that learning other communities' civilization is voluntary
besides
individuals visiting other countries have a to-do list to illustrate, maybe a visit to Masai Mara in Kenya.
Also
, the
government
earns revenue through the entry fees charged
before
accessing any site of attraction.
19Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
56Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
4 paragraphs
286 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Band score ≥ 7
  • Band score ≤ 6
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