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Television is dangerous because it destroys family life and any sense of community; instead of visiting people or talking with our family we just watch television. v.7

Television is dangerous because it destroys family life and any sense of community; instead of visiting people or talking with our family we just watch television. v. 7
Nowadays, television is undoubtedly one of the most convenient modes of delivering infotainment. It has significantly impacted the lives of people by taking their chunks of time from their daily routine life. It has been argued that television has started threatening the future of the family and social life as well as minimising the instinct of community. This would be proven by analysing the consequences of unrealistic life being telecasted on TV channels as well wastage of precious time while watching the TV programs. Firstly, the programs aired on TV channels are usually far away from the reality. Especially, when we take an example of entertainment programs in which the programs are far from the reality not representing the actual culture and society problems. Further, these sought of programs tend to change the perception of people and tend to influence their lives in a negative way making them think in the opposite direction. It is obvious by looking at the example that these impractical programs are pushing people away from the real world. Thus, it can be concluded that unrealistic programs are seriously creating a dent in the family and social life. Secondly, the telecasted programs are draining people precious time. The golden time they can utilise with their families to discuss issues like children education, financial matters, future plans etc. For instance, it has been proven that the families which don’t spend time with each other can be a source of rising tensions and distances consequently, the family life will get affected. This example shows that loss of time can be a major problem for people and it is depriving them with the essence of a single community. To conclude, the gloomy picture of life being shown on TV and valuable time being wasted by watching TV has proven to be a major hit on family and social life. I strongly believe, the excessive use of TV by the general public has compromised the lives of people by making them not only isolated from the society but also from their immediate family. In near future also, it is highly unlikely that viewership of television will decrease due to an ever growing interest of people in it.
Nowadays, television is
undoubtedly
one of the most convenient modes of delivering infotainment. It has
significantly
impacted the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by taking their chunks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
from their daily routine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. It has
been argued
that television has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
threatening the future of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as well
as
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimising' is British English.
minimising
the instinct of community. This would
be proven
by
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
the consequences of unrealistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
being
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "telecast", the past tense form of the verb 'telecast'?
telecasted
on TV channels
as well
wastage of precious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
while watching the TV programs.

Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
aired on TV channels are
usually
far away from the reality.
Especially
, when we take an example of entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
in which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
are far from the reality not representing the actual culture and society problems.
Further
, these sought of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the perception of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and tend to influence their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
way making them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
in the opposite direction. It is obvious by looking at the example that these impractical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
are pushing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
away from the real world.
Thus
, it can
be concluded
that unrealistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
are
seriously
creating a dent in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and social life.

Secondly
, the
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "telecast", the past tense form of the verb 'telecast'?
telecasted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
are draining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
precious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. The golden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they can
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
to discuss issues like children education, financial matters, future plans etc.
For instance
, it has
been proven
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
which don’t spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with each other can be a source of rising tensions and distances
consequently
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
. This example
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that loss of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
can be a major problem for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and it is depriving them with the essence of a single community.

To conclude
, the gloomy picture of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
being shown
on TV and valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
being wasted
by watching TV has proven to be a major hit on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. I
strongly
believe, the excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of TV by the
Consider using "public".
general public
has compromised the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by making them not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
isolated from the society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
from their immediate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. In near future
also
, it is
highly
unlikely that viewership of television will decrease due to an ever growing interest of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in it.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Television is dangerous because it destroys family life and any sense of community; instead of visiting people or talking with our family we just watch television. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
367 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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