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1Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.1

1Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. v. 1
When it comes to coexistence in society, we all know that living education starts in childhood, but who should provide it has separated opinions. This essay will discuss both the responsibilities of parenting and school in this chore. Firstly, how children learn good behaviour at home and then, the role of schools when these children face different situations. On the one hand, we have a strong connection between familiar members, which are full of respect and affectivity that allows the children to learn the empathy in a fast and effective way. In 2005, a study in United State showed that infants that have not gone to school before the age of 10, when they are developing their social skills, had good behaviour when confronted with other persons out of their family. They could interact and create 40% more links than other kids in the same age, that spent the majority of their time at school. On the other hand, these same children that have not attended school, couldn't solve social problems when in a different environment. Issues like working in groups and sharing, lead them to a high level of stress. According to scientists, teachers have an essential role in these cases, because they support and guide the group of students to find a better solution in facing their differences. To conclude, children learn better to appreciate living in a community when developing their social skills at home, but also, those who have learned the same rules at school can collaborate and enjoy as well, even facing challenges situation. In my personal opinion, both situations are important during their grown, as long they turn able to be good members of society.
When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to coexistence in society, we all know that living education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
in childhood,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
who should provide it has separated opinions. This essay will discuss both the responsibilities of parenting and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in this chore.
Firstly
, how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
at home and then, the role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
when these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
situations.

On the one hand, we have a strong
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
familiar members, which are full of respect and
Possible spelling mistake found.
affectivity
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to learn the empathy in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and effective way. In 2005, a study in United State
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that infants that have not gone to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the age of 10, when they are developing their social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
when confronted with other persons out of their family. They could interact and create 40% more links than other kids in the same age, that spent the majority of their time at school.

On the other hand
, these same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that have not attended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, couldn't solve social problems when in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
environment. Issues like working in groups and sharing, lead them to a high level of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. According to scientists, teachers have an essential role in these cases,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they support and guide the group of students to find a better solution in facing their differences.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn better to appreciate living in a community when developing their social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
at home,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
, those who have learned the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
can collaborate and enjoy
as well
, even facing challenges situation. In my personal opinion, both situations are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
during their grown, as long they turn able to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
members of society.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay 1Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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